Saturday, November 28, 2009

Knowledge November - Day 29 - Dusty House, Happy Life

I might disagree with her views on running,
but when it comes to housework, Joan Rivers and I are on the same wavelength:

My floors have never been scattered in diamonds unless that's a particularly creative term for the very occasional 'present' left by Milly, toenails left by Love Chunks, screwed up Lindor wrappers wedged in between the sofa cushions by me and tiny pyramids of sand caused when Sapphire takes her sneakers off.

I'm always willing to overlook the added texture of our floors until the mat in the living room becomes a flat version of Milly the dog - orange, furry and a tad smelly. Then I'll give it a half-hearted once-over with the Hoover and maybe put the pointy nozzle thing on to suck up any grey dust bunnies that dodged the brush head.

When the toilet starts to answer me back, it gets a good scrubbing and the shower gets a going-over at the same time my own body does. Dusting occurs about as often as the equinox, and ornaments on display are kept to a minimum to ensure that this twice-yearly schedule isn't interrupted or increased in any way.

The best cleaning item is the humble blue Chux wipe - coffee cup rings, milky cereal spills, rice grains, sweetcorn hairs and fingerprints all disappear. The second best item is the recycle wheelie bin: a week's worth of newspapers and junk mail off the kitchen table and into the bin - voila! Tidy! Borry the dishwasher is third, bless his hunky stainless steel heart.

I'd rather spend my time sitting outside under the pergola chatting to Sapphire as she cuddles the rabbit, eat chocolate, write, read, eat whatever Love Chunks has cooked, socialise, watch telly, rub Milly's belly, run, laugh, slosh shower water onto the garden and pick up dog turds so that we can safely walk in the garden.

My ex-Dummies editor once said, 'My 92 year old Gran used to say, 'Nobody notices the dust after the second glass of sherry.'

Hear Hear. *clink*


River said...

Let's hear it for the humble blue chux! And windex. Windex will clean almost anything. Ajax spray'n'wipe is a good backup for whatever windex can't clean.
I don't do much in the way of cleaning either. I'm usually too buggered after lifting a couple of tons of groceries, so L says "leave it to me...", which I do. Now if only he would start....
As long as my sink is reasonably clear of dishes I'm happy enough.
The ornamental clutter is a royal pain in the posterior, really I just have too much stuff that I'm not ready to throw out. Mostly because it will just get replaced by more stuff.

Lorna Lilo said...

God save me from turning into one of those women who feel the need to wipe the kitchen bench one more time. Or worse still, my step mother who washed all my father's LP records because dusting alone is never enough!

ashleigh said...

Oh aye.

Thats Yorkshire for pretty much anything you want, usually though signifying agreement.

I'm the (not as anal as I used to be) neat freak in our house. I can't bear enough car hair to make another cat, or cooking spatters from last nights feast still spread over the kitchen benches.

Though washing the LP records, or CD's, IS going just a touch too far.

Karen Fayeth said...

I'll drink to that!