We've all sat at the dinner table during a family get-together as adults and said to our fathers as they launch into telling their favourite story "Yeah Dad, I remember you telling us that one before, it's great..." and listened as he continued to tell the tale, haven't we? I know I have.
Sadly, this apple has plopped dangerously close to the tree. So close it's touching the trunk and sort of going all rotten and soft and starting to get sticky and meld into the bark.
The other day Sapphire and I had finished chatting to some mutual friends at the school gate the other day and were walking home with Milly. Sapph sighed and said, "You know I've heard all your stories now Mum. I could recite them."
And the little insect did, in an accent that I can only describe as Hilda Ogden Gone Ocker. Am I that bad?
Yes. I'm that bad. Not with the accent but certainly with trotting out my trusty stand-by stories at dinner parties, getting-to-know-you stories at BBQs and making small talk before concerts, movies or meetings commence. Or blogs, if the full truth be told.
Love Chunks and Sapphire are resigned to enduring these tired tales when I'm waffling on to someone new, but have promised to raise a warning eyebrow or even kick me under the table if I'm in danger of repeating myself to them or friends who have progressed beyond the 'So I found myself trapped in the Cheops pyramid passageway with Abdul the tour guide behind me groping my arse' introductory story phase.
I'll try my best to stop if they or anyone else smiles tiredly and says, "Yeah, I remember you telling me that." I honestly will.
However Sapphire has also listed a few phrases that I overuse to the point of distraction around the house. These are:
Am I made of stone - of course I'd like some chocolate!
How come you're not ready yet Sapphire?
Whew-whee, did you just drop one?
And I mean that from the heart of my bottom
Thank God I'm no longer a teenager and have to pay attention to what's in fashion any more
Crikey!
How come you're not ready yet Sapphire?
Whew-whee, did you just drop one?
And I mean that from the heart of my bottom
Thank God I'm no longer a teenager and have to pay attention to what's in fashion any more
Crikey!
Never let it be said that I don't do the least I can possibly do
There are some real shockers in this world, Sapphire
...... and that drop-kick over there throwing his rubbish out of the car window is one of them.
There are some real shockers in this world, Sapphire
...... and that drop-kick over there throwing his rubbish out of the car window is one of them.
I can't give any of them up or I'll be silent. That's what I've learned.
5 comments:
Your stories do tend to "evolve" - That seems to be a genetic thing too. I notice R will sometimes switch himself into and out of a given role depending on the audience, timing, required effect, etc...
Have to admit though - I do understand that the story-telling is an act of sharing: I almost feel as if I've lived a life as a Read myself, being familiar with nearly all the stories.
I should be more appreciative and try to give a little back. Only thing is, I don't have the story-telling gift; I don't have confidence that the stories are worth hearing; and, I'm not always sure I want to relive most of them myself...
I work with two ageing mining engineers, possibly the most stubborn and anecdote filled species on earth. If only I had a dollar for every time I've heard ,"A funny thing happened in Broken Hill back in the 1960's...". This is my cue for pretending that I think they are talking to someone else and leaving the room.
My kids stop me quite effectively by telling me I'm starting to sound like my Mum.
The next time that conveying some of your valuable oral history
(for which the Elders in other tribes and cultures are revered and respected) seems to be beneficial for all present, just ask Saphy to do it for you.
I dunno, I go to work for a week and you've posted every day. Talk about playing catch up when I should be deciding what gourmet platter to devise for lunch. I repeat myself. All the time and I don't care. Love Chunks is right, you have a gift for the narrative and there are never pregnant pauses in conversation.
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