It must be said that one of the real reasons that dogs are considered Mans' Best Friend is that they are low maintenance, have to listen to inane chatter without being able to answer back or disagree and have relatively little say in meal times or home decorating choices.
But their strength also lies in what they don't do.
Waste time buying, writing and posting Christmas cards
Graffiti anything (wees on car wheels don't count)
Reel from you in disgust when they see you first thing in the morning with cornflakes in your eyes, Beezelbub breath and sticky hair
Hold grudges (five minutes after bath time is all that Milly can manage before her eyes brighten up and her tail wags again)
Enslave themselves to fashion (except those with owners who like to shave, dye or dress up their poor pets)
Spend too long in the bathroom
Judge you on appearance or wealth
Hog the computer
Spend your money (accidents and vet visits notwithstanding)
Buy bad gifts (although Milly has left a few on the carpet when she's not feeling well)
See the point in vacuum cleaners or lawn-mowers
Have expensive tastes in entertainment
Make you take them to see 'Twilight - the New Moon'
Leave just the one remaining, glued-on square of toilet paper on the roll instead of changing it
Insist they know everything about politics and proceed to talk at you about it
Play ACDC at volume-11
Need make up or artifice to look beautiful
Ignore you when you're ill, or down, or lonely.
We give them the time and energy that we can be bothered to spare, and they give us their all.