Sunday, December 13, 2009

Doggy December - Day 14 - Don't

It must be said that one of the real reasons that dogs are considered Mans' Best Friend is that they are low maintenance, have to listen to inane chatter without being able to answer back or disagree and have relatively little say in meal times or home decorating choices.

But their strength also lies in what they don't do.

They don't:

Waste time buying, writing and posting Christmas cards
Tell lies

Graffiti anything (wees on car wheels don't count)

Reel from you in disgust when they see you first thing in the morning with cornflakes in your eyes, Beezelbub breath and sticky hair

Hold grudges (five minutes after bath time is all that Milly can manage before her eyes brighten up and her tail wags again)

Enslave themselves to fashion (except those with owners who like to shave, dye or dress up their poor pets)

Spend too long in the bathroom

Judge you on appearance or wealth

Dance badly

Hog the computer

Spend your money (accidents and vet visits notwithstanding)

Buy bad gifts (although Milly has left a few on the carpet when she's not feeling well)

See the point in vacuum cleaners or lawn-mowers

Have expensive tastes in entertainment

Make you take them to see 'Twilight - the New Moon'

Leave just the one remaining, glued-on square of toilet paper on the roll instead of changing it

Insist they know everything about politics and proceed to talk at you about it

Play ACDC at volume-11

Need make up or artifice to look beautiful

Ignore you when you're ill, or down, or lonely.

We give them the time and energy that we can be bothered to spare, and they give us their all.


River said...

I love how dogs love unconditionally.

the projectivist said...

Oh yay! I can FINALLY comment. Sometimes your posts don't have a comment link for me to click.

Anyway. Just wanted to say how much I am enjoying your words about dogs, Kath. Your writing style pulls me in and makes your little doggie personalities leap off the screen. Especially touched by the story when Milly wasn't able to go on your morning runs.
Isn't she lovely with her honey gold coat and caramel eyes?

Baino said...

All of it is true, Lily actually would like a daily shower given the chance. Why on earth would they reel from us in the morning. That's when we smell our best, bad breath, dutch oven doonas . do remember dear heart, we are talking about animals that eat their own poo. Oh and my girl's sure spent my money! Jesus, I'm getting doggy insurance next time round or at least a knee replacement savings account! Fwooaaar . .I so hate that toilet roll thing, Tops list, Hope you're picking up Plugger, sounds like youre a little bit poorly.

Oh and for the record. My pampered pooch would, and does get into anyone's car if she's caught beyond the boundary. So much for undying loyalty!

Lilly says Milly is onomatopoeic and since neither like other dogs, they'd do some damage together. Well she had the thought then fell asleep on the bed . . my side of course.

Reviewer11 said...

Another thing that dogs can't do is be quiet. LOL! I had a puppy who cried late at night until I had to bring him in. Some dogs are cute but I'm just not a dog person.

Rowe said...

Loving the dog posts, Kath. Dogs are the best people. Remember that song by The Fauves? Great lyrics. BTW, sorry to hear you suffer migraines, I got them a lot when I was young, horrible horrible they are. Whenever I have a headache that lasts longer than half an hour, if a glass of water doesn't help I drop a paracetamol or aspirin quick smart.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

G'Day Kath,

Nowt wrong with listening to AC/DC at volume 11 (my cats have to suffer that).

I also wonder what is wrong with people who do horrible things to their dogs. I once saw a TV programme where a mad American woman took her lovely floppy-eared dog to a cosmetic surgeon who ripped its ears to shreds and left them poiting up to the heavens. The poor dog looked ridiculous. I wonder how she would have felt if somebody had turned her into Mr Spock - or a Klingon!!




Kath Lockett said...

Me too, River.

Oh, I didn't even know that there were some 'no comment' technical glitches, dear Projectivist? Is it at your end or mine (so to speak)? And yes, she is lovely with her honey coat (I ruthlessly call it 'orange') and caramel eyes; let alone her kohl eyeliner that I'm very envious of.

Baino, your Lily might actually 'do' rather than 'don't' but she's still utterly gorgeous. LOVE the photo of her by the pool on your Sunday blog.

Fair enough, Reviewer11. I wasn't a dog person until the ripe old age of 25: all I'd known before that were cats (my own pet) or dogs of neighbours that stank, drooled, growled or did all three. Then when my mate Jill got her dog Polly, I got to see all the puppyness, growing up and fun right from the start and it changed me forever.... Having said that though, I like cats too. Trouble is, Sapphire is highly allergic to them: her eyes swell shut if she touches one.

Thanks Rowe. Yep, a strong cup of coffee and popping of two panadeine at least keeps me functional enough to make my way home if Mr Migraine pays me a visit. Once there it's 'bye bye' to eight hours of life with light, sound, interaction and upright positions.....

Plastic Mancunian, you tend to find that the people (usually insane woman, from my own broad judgemental observations) that do such things to their pets are so damn ugly themselves that any 'issues' they have is instead projected onto the poor, innocent (and beautiful) animal who happens to share their home and rely on them for scooby snacks. *sigh*