Things seven year old Sapphire learns me good
Actually, she'd never say it like that. She would try to frown- except she hasn't got any lines there, just a faint shadowy spot above each blonde eyebrow, and scold me with, "Mum, say it properly. You're just being silly."
After a fair while (Aussie-speak for long, ages, yonks) in blogland, I realised that I haven't featured an article on Sapphire - the apple of my eye, fruit of the womb and the reason I walked like an arthritic cowboy for a full six weeks after her 29 hour labour....
A couple of nights ago, as she was luxuriating in her bubble-bath in her precious window of Me-Time between After School Care and dinner, I sat on the soggy bathmat on the floor beside her and asked her a heap of questions. Here's an edited version of her observations, answers and views from the seven-and-three-quarters years of experience she's had so far.
What I've taught my Mum, MillyMoo:
* What head lice are, what they look like and that no fancy comb or shampoo is going to get rid of the eggs they hatch. Instead I have to stand under a light while Mum pulls at bits of my hair. It is very boring and annoying.
* Knitting - finger knitting and real knitting. She really likes doing it and even made a big scarf in the Adelaide Crows' team colours. Dad isn't going to have to wear it though - it will be one long stripey bit in the camping blanket that she's knitting. Dad once said that knitting might make her stop eating so much chocolate, but I think Mum just uses the knitting to hide the chocolates in her lap.
* If someone annoys you, don't kick them in the pants or hide their notebooks or do any other mean stuff. Just tell the teacher that you don't like what they're doing. For you, Mum, you'll just have to tell Dad and go off and count to ten.
* You don't need to hang around with the people who are trying to be cool, because they're not all that nice, those cool ones. They waste their time being cool and say 'Get lost' and use lots of swear words.
Her favourite things
Book: The Worst Witch series. I have borrowed and read them all from the school library. And Clarice Bean ones - she makes me laugh out loud.
Song: The one that Mum said she used to like when she was young. "Heaven" by DJ Sammy. (it was by Bryan Adams, originally, in 1995 - MillyMoo)
Movie: Lassie (at home on DVD). At the cinema - Flushed Away and Night At The Museum
Foods: Dad's tortellini, spaghetti bolognese, pizza, Chinese food, Yum Cha. Also cooked carrots, stir-fried vegetables mixed in together and zucchini. If I'm forced to eat salad, I'll have cucumber without making a fuss about it.
Animal: ring-tailed possum or a dog.
What she likes about Dad - aka Love Chunks
He always makes me laugh, does fun things with me like taking me to the Beach House fun place, the swimming pool and cafes. He cooks good food - even better than the cafes we go to and he is always enthusiastic about the things I make or do because he wants to try and make me feel good on purpose.
What she thinks Dad does for a living
He's a meteorologist at the weather bureau. He measures, um, is it something about the clouds or does he organise the satellites?
The house she lives in
It's a small house so it hasn't got too many rooms to get lost in, plus it means we have room for a nice big garden. The kitchen is not a scrappy room any more and I have a lot of space in my bedroom to play cards and jump around.
Grandma and Grandpa
My Grandma is always doing something exciting and always going to special places that are only meant for adults but she takes me too. In Grandma's playroom we make and put toy bags together for poor kids and sell them at her Lifeline shop.
Grandpa is very funny. Even when he's watching the cricket, he finds time to make jokes along the way. He also talks for me if there are lots of people I am shy and speechless.
Her pet dog, Dogadoo
I like her because when she knows that someone is scared of dogs, she doesn't rush at them. I like throwing the tennis ball to her. She licks my hand for me to throw it again. Sometimes she stops and has a drink along the way. Even though she did a poo in my bedroom and then one in the loungeroom that I accidentally put my hand into - she's still the best dog in the world because she's cute and pretends to be a tough guard dog. That's what I like about her: she tries to be our guard dog and just wants to love us.
What is on Sapphire's Non-Lotto-Winning, Realistic Wishlist
A little packet of Skittles
A packet of real crystals or a Tamagotchi version three, or four....
Viva Pinata computer game
Stained glass angel - one that stands up.
Finally, her thoughts on her mum, aka MillyMoo
She is always doing something funny like cracking up jokes, talking together with me or doing something sporty. She is always determined to not eat so much chocolate even though it's her favourite food. She takes me roller-blading even if it's boring sitting there watching me and runs to keep fit. (note: one of the clasps on my blades broke, so the shop is waiting for another of the same pair to come in. This process is slower than if I swam over to Taiwan with one hand, made the pair myself and swam back with just the power of my earlobes - MillyMoo)
So there you go.