Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Boy am I glad to be an unknown Dag

No Britney for a while - see my previous post. She needs a good rest. Cheer up though, there are still heaps of other Mental Pgymies known as 'stars' for us to gawp and giggle at.

I never quite understood why Vince Vaughn became a star even after sitting through his 'breakthrough' movie 'Swingers' and marvelling at just how young and slim he was.
A bit later I read that his parents are reasonably well off and involved in the entertainment industry, so at least getting a part in Swingers made sense.

These days however, he's more famous for being Jennifer Aniston's ex man-bag and for rather successfully impersonating a puffer fish. He's only 36 years old for godssakes yet looks as though he could be Oliver Reed's brother. A bath and some cucumber slices for the old eye bags wouldn't go astray VV, or a good squirt or seven of Rexona - we can smell your rancid BO-ness from over here.

Shaz is always fond of reminding us that she's a MENSA member yet still believes that we need to see her wearing not much other than a couple of sequins and some freshly-injected botox at various openings (social and physical). It is to be hoped that she also uses her much-mentioned mental capacities to remember that she also has a couple - no, three - children to look after.

Here she is paying for lunch, looking like a too-old, too thin 48 year old girl from what us South Australians call 'The Northern Suburbs' - the places where "Fathers Day" personifies thetrue definition of confusion.

Video killed the radio star....video killed the radio star....

Remember the Buggles? Did Nicole push the lead singer off his zimmer frame and steal his glasses?

Pamela Anderson - like Shazza above, but even more so - is a classic example of putting her best tit forward to further her 'career'. This human cartoon would look right at home at Tea Tree Plaza on child support day - rushing in to the Smoke Shop, shoving chips down her kids' throats to shut them up so that she can buy those square stick-on-nails from the chemist.

She's going to be FORTY soon....!!! At least her rack will be a handy place to store her dentures on without having to bend over and find them in the glass beside her bed....

Ohhh, so that's where my vacuum cleaner dust bag has run off to!

Could Christina Aguilera be any more orange?

Finally, we find good old Gwen, wearing some sensible, sturdy, suitable-for-outdoors walking shoes that are just right for that busy Mum on the go.

Many's the time I've dashed to the bus stop in stilettos such as these, praising them for their comfort, practicality and inner sole support.

*Sigh* if only someone other than Jodie Foster would turn up at a public event wearing something on their feet that you can actually stand - let alone walk - in without involuntarily farting, shattering a vertebrae and falling flat on your face. Is that too much to ask?


Anonymous said...

Very Funny, thanks for the Britney Break and what is it about Farts..I've read about them in several blogs today and written and mentioned them on mine ..Found you on BE but I'll be back on my own. (-;

deepkickgirl said...

You're such a harsh fashion critic, MM. I find there's nothing more comfortable than tottering to school in 5 inch stilletos and boob tube/mini skirt combo. It's also great for doing the shopping and the mums on the fundraising committee love it.