Monday, February 19, 2007

I feel sorry for her, I really do

Rather than republish the all-too-available-to-download sad and sordid photographs of Britney Spears leaving rehab; gleefully shaving her own hair after the owner of the salon refused to do it; getting a couple of tattoos and looking straight at the papparazzi with a vacant expression and charcoal-rimmed eyes I'll say this: Get Well, little girl.

The poor thing has been working since she was, I dunno - eight? Eleven? Thirteen, on Disney? When she sprang to mainstream attention she was tarted up like a Lolita-lovin' schoolgirl at age seventeen, gyrating to 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' and supposedly keeping hold of her virginity. Neither of those personas were likely to see her safely through to adulthood or a grounded lifestyle and, sadly, she has shown that such predictions are rarely wrong. Why any of us thought she'd be able to cope with fame, money, attention, fair-weather friends, gold-diggers, drug dealers and useless bodyguards when folk like Lindsay Lohan, Anna Nicole-Smith, Nicole Richie et al couldn't is beyond me. None of them could lay claim to being Mental giants, yet we (including me) derived more entertainment from their extra-curricular activities and gaffes then their official works.

What puzzles me is that celebrities who have so many hangers-on and assistance including nannies, PAs, publicists, stylists, drivers, housekeepers, bodyguards, media coaches, dieticians, trainers, gardeners and the like are not helped. Not really - not helped in the way that they overly-pampered, too readily indulged and are allowed to literally trash their health, sanity and money away whilst ruining their health and minds.

Here's hoping she doesn't require the level of acunpuncture pictured here, or ends up submitting herself to a deranged 'Lookin' Good For Jesus' kind of re-birth. It's a sad day when Fed-Ex looks the classier and more functional, together and reliable parent of the two.....

As my Mum would say, Britney needs to get away from it all, have a good rest and hang around people who actually, truly care for her.

I will add my ten cents' worth and include a full-on de-tox, some gentle eye-make-up remover and the kind of baby and childcare classes us unwashed folk are forced to go to when we give birth.

Then she should fire everyone around her and seek help from a trained psychiatrist, a dietician, personal trainer and a tasteful stylist.

Finally, she should then disappear to a place that offers the conveniences of modern life but without the Hollywood hype, papparazzi or illegal substances. Sweden, New Zealand or Antarctica could be options.... Perhaps even here in Adelaide: city of churches, chocolate and an multiple murderers.... she wouldn't stand out at all up in Salisbury....

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