Wednesday Word Verification explanations Edition Number 15

The day is nearly over: Sapphire's sleeping, the kitchen is closed, the bins are out and I should be doing a paid job due by first cup of coffee in the morning but there's silly meanings to dream up: all from words I have actually typed under the comments field on other blogs this past week.

Lavbu - when the face of a child (usually aged four or under) suddenly appears at the bottom of a toilet door that doesn't teach the floor. Lavbus mostly occur in places that attract harried parents and toddlers such public toilets in shopping centres, caravan parks and picnic grounds and always when your knickers are around your knees and you're honking your nose into a fistful of loopaper. There's some faint comfort in knowing that road-house, pubs and train station facilities usually attract an entirely different kind of visitor.














Blerm - A loud and fake cough, precisely timed to disguise the loud 'plop!' of a newly-birthed turd in a posh public toilet. The blerm is a technique often deployed when making a dash to the restroom in the reception area of the company who is about to interview you, at fancy wedding venues and in shared small spaces such as luxury houseboats and open air bathrooms.

Chozygo - a relatively new breed of innercity dweller who insists on buying their meats, cheeses and spices from shops mentioned only in Gourmet Traveller or Epicure and within the tightly-defined City of Melbourne post code. Chozygos insist on purchasing Spanish ham, authentic chorizo sausages, cave-fermented French cheeses and sun-dried saffron threads only to take them home to their box-sized studio flats (sorry, 'ah-parht-ments') that contain less facilities to cook in them than the average side plate.


















Ingloton (three times!) - A word or phrase that means well and hopes to influence public opinion but is spelled incorrectly. Not to be confused with coffee shop owners who can't spell focaccia, cappuccino or not put an apostrophe in fish and chip's.

Gynobbi - the visual outlines revealed in scanty clothing that we wish (oh, how we wish) we couldn't see. Most recently made famous by Tony Abbott in his speedos, the gynobbi effect is also seen in sprinters (hello Matt Shirvington), Survivor contestants and well endowed women who wear white t-shirts on cold days and possess more than their fair share of bulging back fat.




















Sproter - a person who insists on coming over to see you at 11pm on a weeknight because they're desperate for a kind ear and some advice to stop them from taking a particular action that they know is stupid, immature and not going to solve their problem. After several coffees, half a box of tissues, back rubs and a 2am farewell, the Sproter leaves with gratitude and platitudes about real friendship but does exactly what you advised them not to do.

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