This meme is pinched from Fernstar who had one hellish year health-wise but has pulled through with flying colours and two adorable cats to help her.

1.What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
Learned how to ski. Yes, I tried (and failed) during Christmas 2011, but Magic Mike from Mageve spent a weekend with nine of us at wildly varied levels ranging from Black Run into other countries' borders (Adje) and Fearful and Clueless (Moi). I was pootling down blue runs and even parallel skiing by Sunday afternoon.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Sadly no, and sadly yes. It is always the same: Keep my mouth shut: food-wise and silly show off comments-wise, and I fail on both counts.


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope, but I have a friend here who is a maternity health professional and I've helped her at a couple of her toddler and mothers-and-new-bubs sessions. Milly sniffs the room with fascination afterwards as humans under the age of two are a treasure trove of aromas.


4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. And I realise how incredibly lucky that makes me.


5. What countries did you visit?
France (only 5km away as a 'meat tourist' to buy food that costs less than half of what it does here in Switzerland) - but also a weekend in Paris; UK (Exeter and a week in London); Luxembourg, Austria, Germany and a tiny two day skiing stint in Italy right behind the Matterhorn.


6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Some regular freelance gigs that result in some sort of reliable financial contribution and engage the creative side of my brain. Failing that, I'd like to do some charity work that doesn't require any French language skills beyond 'Bonjour' and an exaggerated thumbs up sign.  Oh and a size twelve body wouldn't be unwelcome either.


7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 23rd, when my daughter turned thirteen. So beautiful, yet completely unconvinced of it. So witty and hilarious, yet hides it at school. So insightful, yet challenged by all the teenage crap that NONE of us would ever wish to go through again.
Tenth of August, when my parents arrived to visit.


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Is this a vain answer? Taking pride in being the matriarch of the household. Chores are boring but I'm minding them less when I'm able to do so many other things that I love. House hunting for a friend in France; taking visitors up the cable car to the top of Saleve; sitting in the train and watching several countries whizz by. Participating in NaNoWriMo and wanting to finish what I started.


9. What was your biggest failure?
Not taking an interest in growing anything in our window boxes. I did, however, buy a plastic tub of bright red geraniums that never failed to get visitors saying, "Oooh, they are so healthy and so lovely. What a green thumb you've got."
"Er, no. These are plastic jobbies purchased for ten euros from Carrefour supermarket."



10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just my stupid, recalcitrant, malignant, hurtful Achilles. No running until January 2013. Swimming has been okay as the replacement exercise but trudging home with wet hair in the snow and goggle marks still marked in red lines around my eyes has been a big bucket load of un-fun.


11. What was the best thing you bought?
So many crazy brocante (flea-market) items but the stand out is the Golden Croissant that Love Chunks thought was a gilded dog turd!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Love Chunks. Somehow he still wants to come home and see me and for that I'll forever be amazed and grateful.


13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My own so many times. The travails of a thirteen year old daughter butting heads, hearts and minds with LC and me did not bring out my practical, understanding or mature side as often as it should have, unfortunately. I think I'm improving though.


14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. Car. Credit card. Food. Travel. Sapphire's medical needs. No longer begrudged but acknowledged as truly essential.


15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Sapphire's laugh, Love Chunks' warmth, soft dog fur, friendships that amaze and nourish and surprise and gladden me, visitors who came to stay, travelling and seeing our concierge now willingly approach Milly to pat her.


16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
'Say you don't want it' by One Night Only. THE best running and mood lifting song.


17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier.
b) Fatter.
c) Richer (then again, that just means we're no longer at the 'How the hell will be able to afford to eat, let alone live here' stage).


18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Visitors would probably say 'housework', but my inclination is for Sunday drives to get to know the towns and attractions just outside of Geneva. Trouble is, I hate to drive.....


19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worry. If there's any dark side - no matter how unrealistic - to an upcoming event/issue/chore/meeting/party/situation/confrontation, I'll find it, catastrophise it to an entirely new level of insanity and then lose sleep over it.


20. How will you spend Christmas?
At Mum and Dad's in Victor Harbor. Yes, we're due our UN-sanctioned 'Home Leave' and will be spending a brief, but hopefully blissful, time in Melbourne, Adelaide and the South Aussie coast!


21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
Stayed in love.

22. What was your favourite TV program?
Anything on British TV that features a panel of comedians. Have I got news for you; Mock the Week; Stand up for the week; Never mind the Buzzcocks; Russell Howard's good news; 8 out of 10 cats ..... 


23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Not hate, but someone has disappointed me. Despite this, I hold no ill will and in fact feel a lot of sympathy for her.

24. What was the best book you read?
As a keen second-hand book stall trawler, there was a lot of interesting stuff to enjoy and if anything costs less than a Swiss franc (CHF), I'll eagerly snaffle it. Therefore some of the subject matter included:

• Alan Alda's autobiography (his father was a vaudevillian actor); 
• Bees (Sophie Monk-Kidd); 
• Jo Brand ('Look back in hunger');
• Tragedy ('Into the Wild' and even the poor children in 'The Nanny Diaries');
• Light hearted but informative history ('One thousand years of annoying the French,' written by a Pom of course);
• Fish ('Salmon fishing in the Yemen' and Richard Flanagan's entertainingly bizarre 'Gould's book of fish'), 
• The history of the Jews (over 1000 pages, lent by a literary friend and author's name now escapes me);
• Life after Pride and Predjudice had been overcome ('Death comes to Pemberley' by PD James);
• Berlin when the wall was still up (Douglas Kennedy);
• London (Rutherford, a great stonking doorstop of a book that made my arms ache when I tried to read it in bed);
• Home (Bill Bryson, 'Down Under' and 'Home'); 
• Middlesex as a gender issue and not a UK county (Jeffrey Eugenides)...

...but the best was a PG Wodehouse I picked up for eight euros (brand new!) in Berlin. Dad had been a fan of his for years and my incorrect assumption that the Jeeves and Wooster series would be out of date was laughingly wrong. It was hilarious, witty and very very modern. I'm now on a mission to buy anything and everything the chap wrote.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Let me just preface this answer with this fact: I am forty four years old and don't listen to the radio or watch music videos. Therefore, my discoveries are always ancient ones, accidentally happened upon in Spotify when I click on a song that appeals to me, then click to what the magical music genie recommends and on again to that particular group or singer's top five. This has enabled me to finally discover Keane, Marina and the Diamonds (Hypocrates is my favourite), One night only, Panic at the disco, Amy McDonald and Greyson Chance.  

However, Ed Sheeran's popularity leaves me:

a) struggling to stay awake; and
b) utterly baffled.

26. What did you want and get?
An iphone - yay!

My parents to visit and my best friend to stay!

Friendships old, established, cemented and new ones still blossoming.A sense of contentment mixed with dollops of adventure and immense gratitude.

27. What did you want and not get?
A month in Italy. During the warmer months. Pre-paid four star+ accommodation, a loaded credit card and a packed sightseeing itinerary. Health spa and massage options at the end of each day. A home that cleans itself.

28. What was your favourite film of this year?
Cinemas in Geneva are not only eye wateringly expensive, but you must be careful to pick the 'Version Anglaise' session or risk seeing The Hobbit in French. Even then, the Version Anglaise has a third of the screen taken up with not only French subtitles but also German ones. It's cheaper to buy a DVD later online.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Love Chunks was flying out to Colorado for the week, so we all got up and had a coffee (LC and myself), a stretch (all of us) a whizzer in the forest (Milly) and unwrapped a couple of presents and cards that Sapphire had snatched from the mailbox and hidden from me. Dinner was with Sapphire, Milly and our lovely friends the A Family, playing Balderdash until midnight.

30. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Despite admitting that I'm a worry wart in an earlier question, I believe that I 'went with the flow' a bit more this year and said 'no' to some things that were 'expected', like learning French. It was a relief to say, "No, I haven't learned French. My brain is still struggling with English," and not care if the other person thought I was lazy, stupid or both.


31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Excuse me whilst I wipe away the tears of laughter ...... as long as I'm clean and vaguely colour coordinated, I'm happy. Black hides most sins but long baggy shorts are the saviours of summer.

32. What kept you sane?
Love Chunks. Milly. Coffee. Medication.


33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Stephen Fry's brain
Russell Howard's slightly wonky eye
...and a shameful(ish) couple - Jeff Probst from Survivor and chubby Michael McIntyre....


34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay marriage - how hard is it to just legalise it already?
Syria - why can't we remove Bashir?


35. Who did you miss?
Everyone in Australia. Gianna when she hops back to London. Flemington neighbourhood. Milly whenever we couldn't take her on holiday with us. 

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Gianna and SimonJenne
Kate, Lyndon and Immi
Di and Clay
Nathaniel
Christin G
Isabel H


.....it's terrific being in a new country because, like six year olds in a playground, you can meet someone and instantly approach them with 'do you want to be my friend' (although usually it's 'What's your email address? Want to come over for coffee and a cuddle of the dog?')


37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
Stop talking and listen more. Especially to Sapphire.


38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
A corny little pop song with this line: 'I don't want to be anywhere else but here with you,' sung by Olly Murs. 

Close ups

Apart from discussing the unfathomable mystery of why the Swiss only sell eggs in packs of ten and four instead of sixes and dozens or that their letter boxes are bright yellow instead of red and I seem to be the ONLY non-homeless person who ventures outside to walk their dog before brushing their hair or having a shower in the early morning I thought I'd add some pictures and see if you can guess what they are.

Besides, I'm waiting on a phone call from someone who had me recommended to them as a freelance 'tidier' up of ESL background report writings and seeing as nearly four months have rolled by without my bothering to find an answering machine it's best that I stay here for now.

Ready?

I'm pretty convinced that my Mum had a dress with these flowers on them in around 1974 and that when she got sick of it she cut it up and sewed some table napkins. However, here the flowers are the non-wearing, shy and forgotten variety.......

.... because they're wallflowers. Okay, I'll stop that now. Having a narrow workbench and a shelf means that we no longer have the hotplates as our sole space to cut veges and plate up and the cracks in the floor tiles means that if Milly's bored she can just flop out and lick them any time she likes. Canine chup-a-chup if you will.

Who knew that Switzerland's Lac Leman had such exotic sea anemone flourishing in the depths?

No-one, because our towels need to be taken out of our windowless, fan-less and vent-less bathroom and hung out by the bedroom window to dry long enough to stop the mouldy damp pong that leaves you filthier after drying yourself than before you had a shower. However we think it's October when the concierge flicks on the central heating and the towels can happily stay above their little radiator and the neighbours beyond the trees are treated to an unobscured glimpse of me getting dressed.

These little buggers look good but hurt like hell.....

.....when they drop the equivalent of seven storeys out of the oak trees that form Milly's part of the apartment gardens and land on my head! The pods have little spikes in them that grip my hair with a ferocity not before demonstrated to me by anything in the plant world. And dammit, these chestnuts are not the ones that you can eat.

Many's the time I've stared deep into these cracks....

....before hacking at it with a bread knife and stuffing it with gruyere and proscuitto. This Swiss/French version of a 'ham and cheese sanger' is about the cheapest food option there is, not to mention delicious. However, leave it longer than eight hours and the Pain Genevose is harder than the trunks of the trees that rain down those spiky chestnut pods.

Our house has the basics but desperate times call for a visit to the kiddie craft section of the supermarket.

Four tubes of acrylic paint, three canvases and a brush set later and my 'modern interpretation of gum leaves' was excreted out. Anything to adorn our enormous, empty white walls. They've been hidden behind the sofa for the last month because Love Chunks hasn't got around to hanging them up: presumably symbolising his subtle but understood opinion of my painting abilities.

Blue spots. If only the eye would stay on the blue spots....

....that feature on the pillowcases and NOT on the humungous brown-tinged smoked glass mirror that has been permanently stuck to the wall. We have set the bed up so that we don't scare ourselves with our own reflections and certainly don't want to spend even a tiny moment thinking about why the previous owner thought that installing such a big arse slab of glass was a tasteful idea.

Somehow, I have to convince these to stay as leaving is going to make things unpleasant over the coming months.

Milly's fur coat is convinced that an Australian summer is approaching and thus, every time she flaps her ears or I pat her, a cloud of loose orange hairs is puffed up into the air before adhering to something dark like our lounge or my trousers. Swiss winter will invariably result in a coat being bought which she will loathe. We live in hope of her intelligence that she'll soon understand the link between Walkies and Wee-wees and enduring a strap-on tartan back warmer.

These are everywhere in Geneva and despite their age, people still use them.

Fresh water drinking spouts are quite decorative and are perfectly safe for refilling bottles. Half of them are human or horse height and the others are directly on the ground, specifically for dogs. All except Milly who is inexplicably frightened of them.

Tiny little zig zag edges mean that it is safely sealed.....

.....until I next wander into the kitchen and wonder what chocolate I'm going to have with my coffee. I may not officially review chocolate any more, but I still buy it, eat it, love it.

Sunday Selections

Kim from Frog ponds rock invites bloggers to post up photos on Sunday that they haven't used yet.

You may have forgotten that we booked a family holiday to Singapore over Easter. Having the news of our move to Switzerland a mere two weeks before heading off to the tropics with brother Rob and Sis-in-law WC, it was a mixture of exhaustion, interest, excitement and bewilderment for a few days and I still don't know how to write about it in a way that properly shows what a wonderfully intriguing and lovely place it was.

It's not just a stop-over to journeys in the northern hemisphere and nor is it the tacky 'Singapore is a fine* city' t-shirt slogan beloved of drunk bogans everywhere.

However, I'll post these pictures up for now when I should in fact be sorting through my wardrobe, filling in my residency application, downloading the international drivers' licence forms and getting stuff ready for Saturday's garage sale.



Not sure of the appropriateness of the 'i Heart Sex' shop right next door to Kids World in Bugis market. SpongeBob SquarePants looked particularly creepy in that context.

222 Drunk Sit, just off Orchard Road. At least they're honest about it.

I was fascinated by the high-rise clotheslines - wooden poles stuck out of their windows.

The name is wrong. The food was delicious and is a favourite lunch spot of my sister-in-law.

After a steamy morning of walking, sightseeing, shopping and eating, everyone needs a can of Kickapoo: the original joy juice to cool off. Considering the name, it was a relief to discover that it tasted a bit like Passiona.

'I wish Ko Phone get back his original size' - Hindu temple on Kusu island. Make an offering and write down your hopes. Most concerned exam results and wealth but one person did write that they wished to be taller. I suspect that Love Chunks wrote something about improving the win-loss ratio of the Adelaide Crows.

I think that the Lesser Bird of Paradise should seek legal compensation for decades of public humiliation, misunderstanding and dreadfully hurt feelings.

The only 'copy' I found, Bali-style in Singapore. Then again, we weren't actually looking for it.

Couldn't do duck tongue, feet or (on another sign) gizzard. Did do sweetcorn ice-cream, durian-topped ice kechang, avocado donuts, sweet Chilli crab (of course), banana leaf fish slice, kaya toast, yin-yang blend (coffee and tea mixed together), mock meats* and aloe vera jelly juice. Yes, and a very expensive Singapore Sling at Raffles hotel.

Our hotel pool had a glass wall that was right by the lobby lounge. People sitting there waiting for the bar to open or a taxi to arrive would therefore be treated to the sight of Sapphire and her uncle doing water ballet, Six Million Dollar Man running and various poses.

The infinity pool on top of the city's largest building, the Marina Bay Sands. We plebs got a bit of a look into main part of the deck which is just for hotel guests. I'm not sure that I'd want to pay a small fortune to stay in seven star luxury where plebs could gawk at me in my bathers.....

SafeWork in Singapore is a serious business. Many tragic injuries have occurred from soggy grass in office blocks and an inability to comprehend the ramifications of walking upright.

* There are fines for everything - gum chewing, loitering, littering etc. Maybe that's why their city is clean, safe and friendly...?
** What did the chicken say when it went to the vegetarian restaurant? 'Mock mock mock!' (that might work better aurally than in writing because it slayed 'em in the aisles at the time)

Never Never Never













Blogger Tensile Times has snaffled a topic that I'm going to snaffle in turn. I might be getting more lines on my face than Bart writes on the blackboard and wisdom surely follows but there's a heap of things I have never, ever done.

These include:

1. Never seeing The Rocky Horror Picture Show all the way through from start to end. We could only see snippets of it through the curtains at Philippa's house when it was on at the Murray Bridge drive in and were often trying to teach ourselves how to smoke her father's stolen rollies at the same time.

2. Never shoplifting anything. I once walked out of the newsagency with a packet of post-it-notes in my hand after paying for a paper and a magazine and, after realising dashed straight back inside to pay for it, face a flamin' with shame.

3. Not one bone in my body has ever been broken. In my forties I am of course very grateful for this but as a kid I was very envious of the ones who'd enter proudly on crutches and get us all to sign their casts. Pain yes, but Fame - oh yeah.

4. I have never been to America and I want to. Badly. Same goes for Japan, China, all of Scandinavia, Canada, Vietnam, Thailand, Singapore, New Zealand's South Island and Poland.

5. I have never enjoyed watching Australian drama. Okay, maybe 'The Sullivans' but that's because it was Mum's favourite show. Everything else has always looked badly lit with corny lines and actors that I remember from 1970s soaps or dodgy home cleaning commercials. I have also never seen a single minute of any of the Underbelly shows.

6. I have never won first prize. In anything.













7. I have never been called slim. Instead I'm asked to help shift pallets of bricks, throw a mattress over the fence or consider being a surrogate so as not to waste those child-bearing hips of mine. No-one has ever said, "Oh sit down and eat, you look like you'll fade away." Maybe in a dream once and then it might have been John Cusack who said it.

8. The law and me have never been on opposing sides. There's been no unwanted ride in the divvy van, no official warning, no stern talking to. A red light camera caught me once, and that was when Love Chunks was rushed back to hospital after severe and unexpected bleeding and I was just a tad worried for him and keen to see where he'd ended up. Still had to pay the bloody thing though.

9. I have never enjoyed camping, as Love Chunks and Sapphire sadly know. It's rather ironic that one of the best sources of camping gear is from a shop called KATHmandu because I'd rather eat my own arse than willingly visit there.

10. I have never written a novel (but am trying to now).

And here's a bit I've added. What I'll never do again:

a. I'll never drink cheap brandy again. In fact I'll never drink brandy of any kind again. An eighteenth birthday party in 1986 is not a dim memory even 25 years later and the nausea is rising just typing this sentence.

b. I'll never wear high heels anywhere where actual walking and standing is required. This includes speech nights, weddings, Melbourne Cup shindigs, parties or even from my front door to the car.

c. I'll never litter. Rubbish can always be shoved in my backpack or a pocket.

d. I'll never eat three entire birds' eye chillies on a drunken Margarita dare ever again. Patrons at the Adelaide casino do not need to be treated to the sight of me licking a marble column in an effort to dull the throbbing burning heat.

e. I'll never get a fish tank. The little buggers die all the time and flushing them down the toilet or feeding them to the neighbours' cats doesn't seem like a respectful way to finish off their short-lived, decision-less existences.

f. I'll never get into the political arena. No, not for the usual reasons of the ridiculously long working hours, the stress of making decisions with taxpayers money and the constant sniping by critics but due to the cartoons they're likely to draw of me in the papers. As if my nose, chin and arse weren't big enough, but to have Tandberg and co exaggerate them...... ~shudder~

g. I'll never eat pate, liver, kidneys or pumpkin. There are so many other ways to make me miserable without getting my mouth and stomach involved.

h. I'll never stop sniffing Sapphire's hair.

i. I'll never cease wondering just how the hell I managed to snag a bloke as decent as Love Chunks.

j. I'll never stop trying to see the funny side of things. If I don't, the Black Dog comes to visit and he's rather too good at highlighting pessimism, despair and worthlessness.

Finally, what I want to do:

1. I want to speak another language. I just need to decide which one. Perhaps 'American' should I ever get there.

2. I want to have a novel published.

3. I want to be able to walk from the pool changing room to the edge of the water not like a self conscious scuttling crab but with nonchalance and confidence. Even if feigned.

4. I want to develop bionic-style achilles tendons so that my running days continue.












5. I want to inhale chocolate without earning a cholesterol level of (currently) 7.4.

6. I want to earn a reasonable income doing something that makes me happy. So far, I'm part of the way there.

7. I want the media to have a total ban on anything relating to Matthew Newton, Lindsay Lohan, Mick Molloy, Underbelly anything, Shane Warne and Liz Hurley. Oh and if Andrew Bolt's blog suddenly disappeared into the ether life would be a lot better too.

8. I want to win lotto without having to spend $14.40 every week.

9. I want to see Sapphire have a happy year at school with a growing confidence in herself and her perceptions.

10. I want Sapphire and Love Chunks to feel as proud of me as I am of them.

What about you?

Sixty (written by a six year old presumably)

Yep, this one's from Plastic Mancunian again. It's hard not to read these, get involved and interested in the person writing them and then want to have a crack (at the questions, not the person) yourself.

1. Are you happier now than you were five months ago?

No but each day I walk home and tell myself that I've contributed to the family and have a man, a girl and a dog who always (and inexplicably, some days) are happy to see me.

2. Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone that you shouldn't have?

Y-e-e-e-s.

3. Can you sleep in total darkness?

Of course. I'd prefer it, if possible.

4. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, the one who got away, what do you say?

"Hello...?"

5. What do you think about the weather this summer?

Very Darwin-like - steamy, sultry, humid. I'll put up with it if it helps fill the reservoirs and keep beautiful old trees and parklands alive and means that I don't have to carry buckets of shower water out to the lawn.

6. How many people do you trust with everything?

One.

7. What was the last thing you drank?

Coffee. Mrs Krups is back from the hospital and working like a charm!

8. Is there anyone you want to come see you?
Hmm, how about someone with a ten million dollar cheque made out to me? One that isn't from Nigeria or the European lottery commission based in the Netherlands and won't bounce? Failing that, a house cleaner, masseuse and gardener; all with OCD tendencies relating to their particular job choice and a willingness to help.

9. Name one thing you love about winter?

Covering up. No need to suck in the stomach rolls when they're hidden under several layers. Wearing ugg boots at home. The forgiving, warm nature of polar fleece. Spicy foods, chocolate, home made soup. Oversized bowls of spag bol.

10. Have you ever dated a Goth?

No. Being with someone ever paler than I am would have meant that they'd be technically dead and I also wouldn't fancy fighting with him for the eyeliner.

11. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

Waking up feeling refreshed and hopeful after a really solid nights' sleep.

12. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?

Slightly grumpy due to lack of sleep and steeling myself for battling the bureaucracy whilst keeping my determination and friendly smile intact; genuine or not.

13. What's the longest that you have committed to one person and one person only?

Love Chunks - seventeen and a half years. A combination of whizzing by in a blur and not being able to remember what was life was like before him.

14. What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?

Grabbed my watch to turn the alarm off and immediately swung my feet out of the bed and onto the floor. You can't sigh or procrastinate for a second but need to get up and out before your brain registers how tired and unwilling it still is.

15. Has anyone ever told you they never want to ever lose you?

Yes. In various situations, most of which I'm not proud of and realise that I've been a huge drain on patience, tolerance, emotion and kindness.

16. Is there anybody that you wish you could fix your relationship with?

Several. There are broken, bitter friendships and misunderstandings that hurt me at the time, but would probably benefit from a 'Here's what I did then, here's what I've learned now' conversation. I've even managed to have a couple of those on Facebook and luckily they were kind enough to friend me back. One particular person I'll never ever forgive. Ever.

17. Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?

Yep. A dag but proudly conscious of it. It's about comfort, blending in and finding other things to stress about (of which there are plenty); not the style of my shoes or cut of my shirt.

18. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months? How?

For the better. I'll get into the groove of working full time, we'll all understand what our home 'jobs' are and do them as a habit instead of a favour to each other, I'll be laughing more and be slimmer after my achilles has righted itself and I can run again.

19. Do you believe that you never know what you got until you lose it?

Not always. I'm a big reminiscer but even I understand that rose-coloured glasses have a huge impact. Sometimes losing something (or someone) may be painful at the time but works out for the best in the end. Unless it's a favourite pair of sunglasses that you've had for years and misplaced.....

20. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Yes, several I think. I don't think I've ever been a girls-only girl.

21. If you were to live your life without your best friend, what would change?

LC - don't even want to sit here imagining it.

Jill (known her since she was two days old) - sadder, colder, un-funner.

22. Tell us about a era of your life that you really miss.

My two years in the United Kingdom were pretty amazing. With rose-coloured spectacles firmly on it was because of the total lack of responsiblities I had - crappy bedsit was fun because it wasn't forever; crappy job was fun because the people were fantastic (same age, same social life, same senses of humour); the travel; the eternally-fascinating city of London....

Specs off - lonely at times; very expensive; homesick; very bad food; no Love Chunks.

23. Have you ever been betrayed by someone that came as a complete surprise? Without revealing the person, if yes, tell us about it.

YES. I've touched on it before, but you can reacquaint yourself here.

24. Do you ever think that is a good idea to hide your feelings?

Oooh yeah. It is not always the best timing to have a rant and I've learned the hard way too that 'honesty' isn't always what the other person wanted no matter how often they say that it is. Nobody likes to be pulled up on bad behaviour or misconception or shoddy work and no matter how well it's stated, it comes back to bite you somehow. Subtlety is always best but take copies and notes to cover your own arse. Always.

25. Tell us about your favorite year when you were a student.

I hated university and did my best to remain completely inconspicuous amongst the smarter, cooler, more confident crowds swirling around me. Having a lovely boyfriend and some good mates really helped though and we had a lot of laughs together making coffees in our rooms at college.

25. When was the last time you were in a very good mood? What caused it?

Last night. Love Chunks and I had a chuckle at Milly and Skipper's Christmas Wish Lists as written down by Sapphire on her bedroom door. She has depicted the dog as a lovable graffiti artist and the rabbit as a strict atheist. Then back to the living room to watch Season 3 of 'The Office' (US version) and realise that it was wrong of me to write it off when it first came out. It is brilliantly funny and cheers me up no end.

26. Have you ever had a romantic relationship with a sibling of a good friend?

Never. Love Chunks can't say that though!

27. Tell us about the last thing that you did that you truly regret.

Telling my daughter to 'just ignore her' for months on end, realising that it should have been reported instantly. Sapphire's spirit suffered at the constant drip-drip-drip of nasty whispered remarks, rumour spreading and exclusion. From this week on, she knows that her teacher and principal believe her, so 'loud and proud dobbing' is her modus operandi until the end of the year.

These two sentences are now in her arsenal:

1) "Can you say that a bit louder, J, so that the teacher can hear?:

2) "No, you're not going to get away with saying that to me. Miss N, J just said...."

28. When did you laugh today?

Haven't yet. Only had one coffee so far.

29. Do you trust easily?

Yes, dammit. I try to see the best in people. Maybe that's why I get genuinely shocked at stuff like bullying, litter and snobbery.

30. What do you care about that you wish more people would?

Litter, bullying and snobbery.

31. Is it easier for you to go without food or go without sleep?

Sleep. Many times my old body has shown that it can do a fortnight on less than two hours sleep a night before all systems crash. Food - I can miss one meal before things get shaky - mentally and physically so before the end of Day One on Survivor I'd be the weirdo sobbing under the coconut tree eating my own shoe....

32. What non-alcohol beverage do you enjoy drinking the most?

Water. Room temperate. Try to suck down 2 litres a day and mostly succeed.

33. When you walk into a room full of strangers, generally how is your confidence?

Fairly high these days. I finally understand that we're all as nervous, confident, funny, serious, committed, flighty and ridiculous as each other and no-one wants me to fail or to fail themselves.

34. Does talking about sex with anyone but your lover make you uncomfortable?

Nah. It's the world's hilarious topic.

35. Do you tend to believe members of the opposite sex mostly behave the same way?

What? No! That's like saying that everyone in my particular school year - Monkeys - are the same, or that I'm like one twelfth of the population - Scorpios. Hell, I'm not even like my own family!

36. Did you drink any alcohol this week? If yes, what?

Nothing yet. I tend to have a glass of wine with dinner about twice a week or a glass of baileys on ice late night if there's good telly happening.

37. Would you ever consider being a vegetarian?

Yep. I often order the vege option when I go out because I'm not a rare meat girl and am not into the Masterchef pork belly/pink quail/raw red lamb phenomenon.

39. Do you believe in the concept of soul mates?

Sort of. However there isn't just One for each of us. Think back to the people you went out with before you met your forever person. All of them had things about them that you liked/loved/were attracted to and factors such as maturity, life stages etc influenced a whole heap of factors. The better question to ask is, "How do you keep your soul mate?"

41. What are your plans for this weekend?

A couple of end-of-year thingies, a ferocious lot of housework and then a day of fun with LC and Sapphire that doesn't involve shopping for presents, chores, sunburn or mosquito bites.

42. Do you think someone might be thinking poorly about you? Why might that be?

Hmmm. My first reaction was to say, "I'm sure there is. If I have people I don't particularly like or admire, then surely some of them feel the same way about me," but then I thought, how UP MYSELF am I to assume that I've entered the psyche of any of those people? After all, aren't most problems due to the fact that the other person didn't think about you at all?

42. What features don't you have that you would like on your cell?

None. I use it to make and answer calls. Yes, I'll occasionally text if I'm on the tram and very very rarely take a photo but I don't want to be someone who has a permanently-cricked neck due to staring at the black shiny thing in their palm all day.

43. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed?

It's a queen, so two adults (allowing for tossing and turning and splaying of limbs) and possibly a small (and very still, so therefore it doesn't exist) child.

44. What are you hoping happens by the end of 2010?

That I feel settled into the groove of work and have made some inroads into understanding and obtaining help from the bureaucracy. That I learn to chill a bit more about chores and housework and obligations and that Sapphire fully regains her spirit, having been freed from the bully and knowing that she won't be in her class next year.

45. What was the last video you watched on YouTube?

A best-of clip from Radgery's facebook page that featuring all the YouTube classics (Charlie bit my finger, chipmunk's weird look, piano cat, heaps of classic stacks etc).

46. Would you ever agree to an open relationship with someone?

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO. My heart would dry up, split into sharp shards, pierce all of my other vital organs and die. Brutally and painfully.

47. Is there something that you could never give up?

Food and water for a start. Trying to be friendly. Having a laugh. Love Chunks and Sapphire. Good coffee. Kissing the dog.

48. Would you, (or did you) prefer a small, intimate wedding reception, or a big-scale, over-the-top reception?

Very small, held in my parents' back garden. Dress cost $12 for the material and the honeymoon (or 'holiday' as we liked to call it) cost way more than the $1000 for nibbles and drinks at the 'reception'. No official cake, no speeches.

49. What’s bothering you right now?

My inability to shake minor annoyances off quickly. How I wish I was like Milly the dog who with a good flap of her ears manages to dislodge every loose hair from her coat, have a stretch and immediately forgets whatever it was that irritated her in the first place.

50. Do you hate anyone?

Sadly yes. You'd think, after slightly more than three years that I'd have moved on, but no. I still hate her.

51. What were you doing at 12 am last night?

Lying in bed, listening to the fan whirring overheard, Love Chunks snoozing on my right and the 'ker-LUNK' of the bathroom door after Sapphire shut it. Need to have a word to her about keeping things a bit quieter during the midnight wee trips.....

52. Is the last person you kissed before your current situation mad at you?

I don't think so; I can't even remember who it was..... Oh, wait. Yeah, he might have been mad at me at the time, but he would have forgotten by now, surely? It was EIGHTEEN YEARS ago!

53. Can a man and woman be friends without having feelings for each other?

Of course. I assume that 'feelings of friendship' is still acceptable?

54. Do you think long distance relationships work? If you’ve had one, tell us about it.

Never had one. Not sure how they could work if that person isn't 'there' for you more often than not and who wants to sleep alone if they're supposedly 'with' someone?

55. Do you know why it’s called “Random Boredom“?

Clearly I am way too old for this questionnaire.

56. Do you think that it’s always the man’s responsibility to initiate sex?

What? How OLD is the person who wrote these, nine? Of course not! (my answer to the original question, not the person who wrote the question)

57. Have you ever made love while you were in the same room with another couple?

NO. At least I sure as hell hope not and hope that there's not some grainy footage out there anywhere..... ~shudder~

58. Tell us the best thing about your current or most recent S/O.

Significant Other? His kindness. And patience. And humour. Let's also bung in intelligence, perception, cooking skills, fathering skills and his smell when I hold him tight.....

59. Tell us the worst thing about your current or most recent S/O.

Gets tetchy when he's hungry or tired or both. Snores very loudly on occasion. Enjoys a lot of televised sport. Kind of nice to see that these answers aren't exactly deal breakers.

60. If you could write a novel, what would it be about?

Ooh it's brewing baby, it's brewing!