Redcarch - a frequent struggle experienced by late twenty-somethings and paired-up adults in their early thirties between going out and socialising and keeping up with the latest art exhibitions, cultural events, cafes, gay/childless friends and foreign films; or giving up entirely and staying at home in unwashed tracksuit pants in front of the Friday night footy eating pizza.
Oboomi - the pointless-but-piercing holler that a drunk person makes when stumbling along your street - directly in front of your house and your own bedroom window - at 3am on Friday night/Saturday morning, usually followed by the 'Ba-doonk donk donk' of bumped (and sometimes humped) wheelie bins and the smash of dropped beer bottles. The oboomi is never intended on communicating anything more intelligent than the presence of the hollerer which is an oxymoron in itself.
Pryownyl - an addiction to viewing the healing process of a flesh wound found on your own body, especially when covered by an easy-to-peel bandaid or strip of elastoplast. People who are afflicted with prynownyl rarely show an interest - or the strength - to view similar injuries on other people; it is just their own that they are fascinated with.
"Oh Matt's really got pryownyl tendencies. On our first date he kept flicking the lid of the crusty scab on his elbow open and shut throughout the movie and then wondered why I didn't want to hold his hand!"
Comekibo - the time wasted when performing everyday, non-sport-related tasks by people suffering a lack of basic coordination. Hanging out the washing is a perfect example. When handling underwear, the Comekibo victim grabs six pairs in their left hand and six pegs in their right hand and starts work. Comekibo results in the victim dropping a peg - bending down to retrieve it - straightening up and having a bra fall out of their hands. When they bend down again to pick up the bra, three pegs fall to the ground just as they had straightened up again. The sufferer decides to leave them there, reach up to hang up the bra and a pair of knickers gets dropped. The person sighs and bends down to pick them and the pegs up and forgets that they are also clutching four socks that slip out of their grip during the upwards movement and land on the muddy ground.
The Comekibo process continues over and over until all clothes are securely pegged to the line but are covered in a fine layer of dust and dead grass and the person has a lower back-ache.
Approsaw - the approval received from one's friends when showing them a new piece of equipment that is most commonly available from a hardware store. Examples include self-assembled outdoor pizza ovens, grey water flush systems, BBQ rotisserie hoods and really really huge hammers.
"Barry enjoyed the approsaw of his mates when he whipped out his hedge trimmer while the snags were cooking."
Glyyi - feelings of guilt and shame experienced when furtively enjoying a popular television show, song or book that is widely ridiculed and derided in public. Glyyi sufferers live in fear of someone popping in unannounced during their Saturday night Hannah Montana-a-thon (and not having time to slip the Citizen Kane DVD in) or of accidentally singing the lyrics to Poker Face out loud on public transport.
"Lucinda raised her eyebrows in contempt at the bogan opposite her, struggling to read the back page of the Herald Sun even as she prayed that her dog-eared copy of Full Moon was hidden beneath Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything."