This one was stolen from the Plastic Mancunian. Sapphire is at home today with a red raw nose and a mysterious case of diarrhoea and my teeth are starting to throb which indicates that Mr Migraine is about to saw through my cranium and apply the egg beaters to my brains, so here goes:
1. What curse word do you use the most?
Crikey and Frack at the moment. It varies a lot but the mantra Poo-Bum-Bugger-Shit-Fart is a perennial favourite.
2. Do you own an iPod?
Yep. Got given a Mini by Love Chunks years ago but didn't use it because I was running outside and wanted my ears clear for stuff like red-light-ignoring delivery vans, potential rapists or wayward garbage trucks. Then, three years ago, when the first treadmill was purchased, I again fell in love with music and was given a Classic which now houses our entire music collection. Now the damn thing costs me around $30 a month as I download individual songs for various playlists to run, read, meditate, think, power walk, jog or sing to.
3. What person do you talk to on the phone the most?
Love Chunks. He and I both hate the phone and have a 'ring one specified number and talk for free for three minutes' deal, so it's right up our respective alleys.
4. Do you still remember the first person you kissed?
Ian Penn in year five, behind the incinerator at Murray Bridge South Primary School in 1978. Despite being shorter than a coffee table, he was the class lothario and I was only one in a long line of eager young girls he wooed. In fact, he closed his eyes and waited for me to approach and do the deed which I did, before running out of there as fast as I could.
5. Do you remember where you were on 11/9/01?
I had a 'flex day' (ie day off) and was having lunch with my workmate Catherine, who was on maternity leave and visiting with her three month old baby. We spent the day in front of the tv, cuddling baby Angus and wondering just what kind of world he'd turned up in.
6. What was the last movie you watched?
Sapphire and I watched 'The Devil wears Prada' today and we both loved it. It helps when it's been around for ages and your expectations are low. Meryl is brilliant in it.
7. Has anyone ever called you lazy?
Not in the last couple of decades, no.
8. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep?
Up until four months ago, yes. At the very depths of depression I was on a real sleeping pill but I was so worried about being an addict that I'd take only one on Wednesday night and one on Sunday night, and endure sleepless nights in between. When things were better, I was switched to an anti-anxiety tablet to stop the brain from buzzing too much. That was six months ago, and now I'm on nothing. It's been very, very difficult and I envy LC his ability to not even complete the phrase 'Good ni---' before landing in Zzzz land. Lavender oil on the pillow, some stretches and self-meditation is helping. Sort of.
9. Has anyone told you a secret this week?
It's only Monday but yes, Sapphire told me that her very precious porcelain Cinderella figurine that she was given by her grandparents at age four as a display and NOT play doll was played with extensively whenever she had the chance. We both had a chuckle about it and she said, "Surely they didn't really expect a little girl to NOT want to play with Cinderella?" Luckily, she's still in perfect nick. The doll, I mean.
10. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Face, shoulders, waist and butt. The face - especially when they're not looking directly at you or 'on' is a very clear indicator of what kind of person they are. Try it - check out someone when they're reading or watching something neutral on tv - is their natural pose restful, bitter, sour or cheery?
11. What are you looking forward to?
Having a really good sleep tonight without any snoring from Love Chunks, tossing and turning from myself or needing more than one occasion to get up and use the toilet.
12. Do you own any band t-shirts?
Not any more. I used to have Midnight Oil's 10-1 t-shirt from their 1985 concert and Dire Strait's 1986 concert t-shirts as pyjama tops for years until they ended up resembling a neck line with stray fringing where the cloth used to be. Oh hang on: does WWJJD (What Would Joan Jett Do?) count?
13. What will you be doing in one hour?
Taking Milly for a quick walk and litter ninja duty around the 'hood. Love Chunks has just cycled in from work so I can leave Sapphire in his capable hands and thus prevent the restless pooch from yawning exaggeratedly or butting at my leg with her nose.
14. Is anyone in love with you?
Love Chunks is. If that sounds vain or smug or patronising, then I'm really sorry, but he is. And I'm so grateful that he is because there's nothing greater than someone feeling the same way that you do about them.
15. Last time you cried?
On Saturday morning when I was umpiring a tennis match. Not Sapphire's - I'd never do one of hers, but a boys' doubles match and the cold wind meant that my eyes started to water like crazy and I looked as though the entire game was putting me through the emotional wringer.
For real? Not for a long time, which is also a pretty nice thing to be able to say/write.
16. Are you on a desktop computer or a laptop?
We now have a desktop but I miss my laptop so badly. It was easy to unplug and take out into the kitchen or on holidays and for some anti-OHS reason, I found it better to type on.
17. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Have two pierced ears and one blue rose tattoo that's only seen by Love Chunks, Sapphire when she bursts in while I'm having a shower or if I raise my arms up above my head and forget to tuck my shirt in. I have some vague thoughts about a second design but sense kicks in and the thought is then immediately quelled.
18. Would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos?
Not covered in them, no. One or two that really mean something to them is okay though. I particularly dislike the arm sleeve trend - it makes the wearer (usually an AFL footballer or someone equally mentally challenged) look like they need a good scrub down.
19. What were you doing before this?
Downloading some chocolate review photos whilst Sapphire showed me her draft tea party invitation. She'd like to invite five friends over for a spring afternoon tea party, featuring cup cakes, flowers, lace tablecloths and her guests dressed in their best. No, I don't know where she gets it from either.
20. When is the last time you slept on the floor?
Last night as it happens. LC was snoring and I gave up trying to lavender oil and meditate it away and went into the living room. Sapphire's bed wasn't an option because she was propped up on pillows to breathe and her bedspread was covered in dozens of scrunched and soggy used tissues. Therefore, I patted Milly for a while and lay on the floor beside her beanbag before hitting the lounge.
21. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
Three. Years of experience has shown me that I can get by on this tiny amount for around a fortnight before I crash and burn.
22. Do you eat breakfast daily?
No. If I'm running I can't eat anything beforehand and afterwards all I can manage is a glass of water or two and an orange. Then, by the time I've cooled down and had a shower, I'm ready for another coffee (and maybe - definitely - some chocolate) and might as well get some work done before it's lunchtime....
23. Are your days fast-paced?
Sometimes. Working from home means that most of the stuff is done during Sapphire's school hours and I'm still amazed when the alarm goes off and think, "What, it's 3.15 already?"
24. What did you do last night?
LC did a beautiful chunk of salmon in a coconut curry sauce on basmati rice and we ate it on our laps in front of 'Modern Family.' Then LC did some piano practice and Sapph and I watched the doco 'Life', narrated by David Attenborough. There was a classic scene of a lizard in South Africa imitating the walk of a beetle so that he doesn't get eaten which was hilarious; as was the footage of a frog leaping out the water to catch a mayfly. His fingers attempted to stuff the fly into his mouth but he missed it completely. Who knew that nature could be so funny?
25. Do you use sarcasm?
Every damn day, baby!
26. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
42 in November and boy, is my face reminding me of that!
27. Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
Sort of. I think I'm a reasonable speller but don't want to get too pedantic because it then opens me up to all sorts of nitpicking when I get it wrong.
28. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex?
Both, I think. I've never been a flirty type, so boys and girls are all potential friends to me.
29. Do you watch the news?
Sometimes. With the current election it's been on a lot more than when it features dole cheats, knife crime and sports results.
30. How did you get one of your scars?
I have one on my chin that I got when I was four and playing in a car junk yard whilst being babysat by a bachelor teacher friend of my parents. I don't remember this, but apparently Richard told me to 'Buzz off and play outside' which he thought was a nice thing to say, but I took it personally, stomped out in a huff and promptly fell onto some rusted iron.
31. Who was the last person to make you mad?
It's a general person - the secret but committed litterer who makes me scratch my head in frustration when a bin can sometimes be found only three metres away.
32. What is the last big thing you purchased?
How big is big? This house in November 2008 or the computer earlier this year. Or just a really large-sized wall calendar.
33. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
You're going to think it'd be Love Chunks aren't you? But no - it'd be the dog - warm fur, instant obedience and very little judgment.
34. What is a rumour someone has spread about you?
Nothing that's been very nice but even then it's been from people who eventually reveal their true nature. Karma and all that.
35. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
I was stuck in one for a couple of hours when I was heavily pregnant. I calmly rang the emergency phone, then flexed my triceps to call LC on my brick-sized phone (it was 1998) before sitting down to eat an apple. The environmental policy guy trapped there with me was far less controlled and I had to entertain him with inane chatter (one of my talents, sadly) until we were rescued.
36. T or F: All’s fair in love and war?
Hmmm, that really is only applicable if you're the winner. If you're the loser, you'd want to ram those words back into another orifice that the utterer owns.
37. Do you know how to use some words correctly, but not know the meaning?
Yes. I remember saying 'epitome' (with 'tome' rhyming with 'Rome') as a thirteen year old in front of my Dad who laughed so hard he farted.
38. Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings Time?
Of course not. I am Australian.
39. Do you want a bright yellow ‘06 mustang?
Of course not. I am Australian and bright yellow cars always look tragically wrong and unfortunately recall a 'lemon' which is surely a big No-no in the automotive world.
40. What’s something you’ve always wanted?
To win lotto. To be a size ten. To be able to stop time whenever I need a sleep in, a think or some time to myself. No cellulite. The eradication of bogans, bigots, snobs and bullies.
41. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
Lake. Salt water hurts my eyes and I hate hate HATE it when seaweed wraps around my legs or the waves dump me into the gritty, hurty sand and I end up with a sandy crotch shaped like a dozen potatoes have set up home down there.
42. Do you wear a lot of black?
Yes. If in doubt, choose black. Even for summer.
43. Describe your hair:
Very thin, short and blonde. Currently lighter thanks to QT the local hairdressers. I like it low maintenance and out of my face.
44. Where is/are your best friend(s)?
Love Chunks is doing a work out in the shed; Sapphire is watching ABC kids; Milly is still nudging me to take her for a walk and Jill lives in Adelaide and is in training for her first marathon. I miss her!