TV War Part Deux

First there was Mini-mind.

Thankfully he chose not to reply to my final email.

Today, there is 1980horrora.

All I want to do is sell a bloody TV - is 1980horrora a vengeful and slightly twisted mate*** of Mini-mind or am I now just too tired and stressed to see the humour in it? I'll gladly welcome your interpretation of the following:

Dear Lots-o-Choc

Thank you for your well described item. I often look at televisions on the internet and am constantly dismayed by the poor quality and disparate measures to which salesmen (or women - let's not forget them) will go in order to sell a television.

I have a number of questions for you about your item.

1) I note that you seem to be selling the larger entertainment system surrounding the television. Since you are adding in extras, would you be prepared to submit your dog for purchase? I note he is in the photo. Is he in fact the KDL40X3100 40" ? I only have a small flat and a 40" dog may be too large for my apartment.

2) If you are interested in putting your dog up for sale, I could purchase it all. This would allow my cousin Vinny, who has a dog allergy, to be the owner (of the TV, not your dog). If I was to purchase it on his behalf, would you consider having it (the TV, not the dog) drycleaned? Otherwise I will be unable to avail myself of the on-sell option.

- 1980horrora

Dear 1980horrora

Dog (aka Milly) is actually coming with us to Geneva, which is why we're selling the TV and pretty well everything else. She may only have cost us eighty bucks at the Lost Dogs' Home seven years ago, but now she's priceless :)

Regards
Lots-o-Choc

Dear Lots-o-Choc

I understand from your email that you are going to Geneva. How Fantastic! I have family in Geneva. They live at 4/6 Boulevard des Philosophes, Geneva, Suisse. They would be most affectionate if you would like to stay with them. You would be able to see from my old room some lovely sites, though you may have to share with my little brother Juergen. He sometimes wets the bed, but as long as you are quick on your feet I do not believe it will be a problem. Juergen is also a tremendous trombonist and will be able to serenade you as you fall asleep.

I am deeply saddened that you will be taking 'AKA Milly' with you. Will the television still work without her? Or will I need to also go do the Lost Dogs' Home? Is $80 still a reasonable price to pay to get a TV working or should I expect to pay less since this is an older model now?
Finally do you have any games that are with the PS3? in my salad days I was a big fan of GO! Sports SKi, but unfortunately I am yet to have Ski'd as we kept our old PS3 beside Juergen's bed and it was unfortunately not as spritely as I imagine you will need to be.

If you stay with my family would you be interested in perhaps reducing the cost of your television, since it does not come with a dog of any description, perhaps by $80 ....
- 1980horrora

I'm too tired to write a reply. Does that make me an unfun person or a wise one?

*** I think that this one's a bloke as well.