Sunday, May 08, 2011

TV war!

Cramming a family, memories, treasures and an entire house into three cruelly inadequate 22kg suitcases about to wing their way to Switzerland for 2-6 years has been a massive effort. So much so that my back and brain have somehow melded together to transform me into an S-bended humanoid honey bee who flits from box to shed to table to cupboard to plastic bag to wheelie bin to checklist and back again; never stopping, always doing, constantly fretting.

Apart from the Trading Post, friends, family and a garage sale, a few key items have been placed on eBay: one of which is our beloved TV.

This baby was a rare extravagance for us, purchased in December 2007. Top of the range Sony Bravia. Picture so clear you can tell what each Crows player ate for breakfast before the game and what time the remnants were due to be expelled from the body afterwards. Realistically we won't be purchasing a TV of similar quality in Switzerland and decided to offer it for sale for a smidge less than half price.

Ebay allows potential buyers to ask questions about the item on sale and I've been busy replying to questions on the length and width of our kayak, the size of the viola, brand of our washing machine and the precise colour of our brown leather sofa. The TV discussion, however, has developed into an entirely different beast. This is what transpired. Yes, I am 'Lots-o-Choc':

Dear Lots-o-Choc
hello there i'm only interested in the tv. i'd like to offer you $500 for it. the reason is there was 52" of the same tv that went for $1025. here are the details about the other tv:
Sony BRAVIA KDL XBR 52 1080p LCD Television
Item condition: Used
Bid history: 56 bids
Winning bid: AU $1,025.00
if you consider my offer i will pay "CASH" on pick up because i live local as well.

Dear Mini-mind
Sorry but that's an entirely different model - ours is the very top of the range and is still retailing for $3300. The asking price still stands.

Dear Lots-o-Choc
hello again thanx for your reply. i just like to address to you that i am a " professional home entertainment consaltant " i deal with these things 24/7 so i know the difference between "EVERY" model tv thats available in australia. My offer is still valid and if consider it, let me know thax.

Dear Mini-mind
Sorry, as stated the model still retails for $3300. See:

Dear Lots-o-Choc
hi, i don't know where you are getting your info from, but you are wrong because if you want it to buy your tv direct from "SONY" they will say to you "SORRY" we don't make this tv anymore because we made that tv back in 2008 no longer available it is discontiniued model. the only way you will find it is if some one tries to sell it for $1600 and no one will bid for it at that prize. good luck to you.

Dear Mini-mind
Yet again I ask that you refer to this link -
The TVs are for sale everywhere.

Then LC came in and read over my shoulder. “Actually, they are discontinued. Better change the ad.” Oh hammer-gun my calf muscles to the side of a chariot and set it to Ben Hur speed....! I did change the ad. Immediately. Despite the amendment, Mini-mind still had time on his*** hands and a bone to pick.

Dear Lots-o-Choc
I guess I forgot that it is very hard to explain to a person that has no idea of what they are talking about. all I have to say to you is I wish you good luck.

Dear Mini-mind
And I'm surprised that for a supposed 'home entertainment consultant' you can barely spell, are very rude and seem to be extremely persistent for someone who claims that they can find this same model for $500. If that *is* the case, then why do you keep emailing me about this TV?
Please don't contact me again.

Dear Lots-o-Choc
first of all if you like correcting peoples spellings, why don't you become a teacher. and second of all I'm not insisting on your tv its just I'm just trying let a dumb and stupid person like you to realize that your tv is out dated and its not worth it what you are asking for it but I am pretty sure you will find another person like yourself to buy your tv . I wish you the best of luck "LOOSER"
oh by the way its been how many days and nobody made a bid for your tv because nobody is dumb like you. thats it end of discussion.

Dear Mini-mind (what an appropriate name - clearly 'mini' reflects your IQ)
I *am* a qualified teacher as it happens, and I wish you the best of luck in trying to find a TV like ours for the $500 that you seem to think you can get it for. Fantasyland, I presume; otherwise why are you still here being annoying and not already enjoying such a TV?

By the way - it's 'loser', not 'looser', so I hope that in your career as 'home entertainment consultant' you're not required to write anything of consequence down for your 'customers', whomever they may be. Now run along you mental pgymy and stop writing back to me.

Or am I using words too big for you to understand?

And damn the annoying little bugger, we haven't had a single bid!

Yes, I've made the assumption that it's a 'he' and picturing a smallish man who hopes to browbeat people on ebay into selling him things for a bargain price so that he can sell them for vast profits later. I'm also assuming that he's extremely unattractive and smells bad.


Cat J B said...

Ha, Kath, that's hilarious! Ebay is strewn with all sorts of folks, but trust you to find the real gems! Ya know, I want to make a bid just to show that lil' twerp.....but with the size of our house, that tv would take up an entire room.

Hope it gets picked up soon.

Anonymous said...

What a little arsehat! Though if he can't spell loser, I'm guessing that makes him one :)


Marie said...

I always love the irony of people writing "Looser" thinking it's a cutting remark, when all it does is reveal what a prize knob they are.

Having bought and sold a few things on our equivalent of Ebay, I have come across people like him before. And my experience is that they'll dig in their heels rather than "lose face" by capitulating. Which is where my many years of training in writing the icy letter comes in handy. And while I absolutely adore writing "nasty-grams"I find that a clear decisive letter is most likely to get him to back off. It's a human instinct to defend a position if you feel yourself under attack. For that reason, a person is, in my opinion, better off with the "this is the way it is" type of letter, as opposed to the "I'm going to hunt you down and shave your cats" type of letter.

Though the second kind are so much more fun for us to read. And I do hope someone buys the telly, if only to stick it up him and prove him wrong.

Elisabeth said...

Dangerous stuff to get into, Kath, these arguments with churlish souls who just want to prove you wrong.

It must be tough though and I admire your stamina. I'm not sure that I could do it - move house in so short a time that is - and not just move locally but so far away.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

G'Day Kath,

Ha ha! I know that I would have replied in a similar way to you.

This is a pygmy keyboard warrior if ever I saw one.

It's scary that people like that exist - and they definitely do (as I have found out in the past).




nuttynoton said...

yes I have had a few run ins on e-bay although most have been ok. I find people want everything for virtually nothing on e-bay and second hand generally, I also find a lot of the bids come in the last hour so hang in there and good luck

The Elephant's Child said...

You have done so well. And perhaps mini really meant looser - loose bowels spring to my warped mind, or looser grasp of grey cells and basic politeness.

Tam said...

What a twerp!
Wonderful to read such vitriolic replies KL, and just think of all the move related stress you are directing his way!!
Have some chocolate... you deserve it!

Kath Lockett said...

Thanks cat - I appreciate the thought!

Arsehat yes. Good speller - no.

Marie, I love the icy letter as well and am waiting - with baited breath - in case he replies again. Lemme attim!

Elisabeth I'm not sure that it's stamina in this situation because you kinda sorta have to respond to a buyer query or it looks like you have something to hide. As such, I'm online a couple of times a day, so a few nasty email responses are no skin of my (not inconsiderably-sized) nose.

Thanks Plasman. "Keyboard warrior", hmmm. Maybe 'Keyboard Krud Fudger'....

Nutty, I hope so, otherwise my brother will enjoy babysitting a TV that's far too big for his house!

EC, I thought along those 'looser' lines as well and also wondered if he was insinuating something about my morals. Then again, he'd probably think that a 'moral' is a colourful painting found at a shopping mall!

Tam you're not going to believe this but the thought of chocolate makes me almost want to heave today - could I have finally reached the 'full up' guage?

franzy said...

Last car I sold I got a whole bunch of CAPITALISED texts offering me just less than 50% of my asking price IN CAPITALS SPECIFYING CASH SO THAT I WOULD KNOW THEY ARE BIG BALLER FOR REAL, to which I was able to gleefully reply "Sold for asking price two weeks ago, nice try"

Will email you about telly though ...

Vanessa said...

Are you serious? What a moron. I have never had experiences like that from ebay. I have found that selling non postal items (especially violins) that I have had more success on Gumtree.
It is an argument he (yes I agree with your assumption) won't want to continue with a tired and stressed Momma!

Anonymous said...

How mooch vor ze dawg in ze peecture?

I like ze look of ze dawg. You haf price vor ze dawg as vell?

Helen said...

what a 'looser' he is! Seriousl, even if he offered you your asking price I wouldn't sell it to him!

Baino said...

Haha you didn't really did you? Write that? 2-6 years .. that's awesome, might come visit BWAHAHAHAHA!

Helen said...

If anyone is ever confused as to the definition of "mansplaining", imma send them straight to this post.

And I've noticed in my many years of internet engagement that bogans invariably spell "loser" (which is their favourite epithet, since they, of course, are huge winners) as "looser". It's some kind of natural law.

W/V = "Soldple", hope that's prophetic.

Helen Balcony - the other one said...

Soz, that was me.

Anonymous said...

Kath, i haven't laughed that much in months - i laughed til i cried - the whole exchanged is best read aloud - more more more from your ebay experiences please!!!


tc said...

So you have set yourself up as several different users and started a bidding war against yourself, haven't you? I'm really sorry you haven't sold your TV, but on the upside that really did make me laugh. Out loud. A lot.

I especially lovet the all-caps LOOSER.

Good luck for the garage sale. It's bloody hard work - physically and emotionally - all of this getting ready to leave. xx

Kath Lockett said...

Thanks Franzy. Have reduced the price and have now attracted a slightly weirder correspondent that I'm not sure is being 'witty' or just plain weird....

Vanessa, Gumtree might be next. Or the Trading Post.

Anonymous, you're not related to my 'new' ebay admirer/hater/question asker, are you??

Helen - actually, I would - it's got to the stage where we're leaving in 18 days and the stuff just has to go.

Yep Baino. Two years to start with but longer term is what they want. And seeing as Sapph will be starting high school there the ideal scenario would be for her to finish it there as well.

Helen, if I can be of service in educating the wider world about 'mansplaining', I'll be honoured.

Anonymous Helen - ah, if only I could 'sell' the experience!

Myrtlemoke said...

i'm with Helen, laughed, cried and even snorted. (all the time whilst trying to be very discrete, as I'm home billeting an lovely quiet and shy international visitor for a sporting event... and desparately trying to make a good impression, she says, knocking back the third glass of red).