Monday, May 09, 2011

TV War Part Deux

First there was Mini-mind.

Thankfully he chose not to reply to my final email.

Today, there is 1980horrora.

All I want to do is sell a bloody TV - is 1980horrora a vengeful and slightly twisted mate*** of Mini-mind or am I now just too tired and stressed to see the humour in it? I'll gladly welcome your interpretation of the following:

Dear Lots-o-Choc

Thank you for your well described item. I often look at televisions on the internet and am constantly dismayed by the poor quality and disparate measures to which salesmen (or women - let's not forget them) will go in order to sell a television.

I have a number of questions for you about your item.

1) I note that you seem to be selling the larger entertainment system surrounding the television. Since you are adding in extras, would you be prepared to submit your dog for purchase? I note he is in the photo. Is he in fact the KDL40X3100 40" ? I only have a small flat and a 40" dog may be too large for my apartment.

2) If you are interested in putting your dog up for sale, I could purchase it all. This would allow my cousin Vinny, who has a dog allergy, to be the owner (of the TV, not your dog). If I was to purchase it on his behalf, would you consider having it (the TV, not the dog) drycleaned? Otherwise I will be unable to avail myself of the on-sell option.

- 1980horrora

Dear 1980horrora

Dog (aka Milly) is actually coming with us to Geneva, which is why we're selling the TV and pretty well everything else. She may only have cost us eighty bucks at the Lost Dogs' Home seven years ago, but now she's priceless :)


Dear Lots-o-Choc

I understand from your email that you are going to Geneva. How Fantastic! I have family in Geneva. They live at 4/6 Boulevard des Philosophes, Geneva, Suisse. They would be most affectionate if you would like to stay with them. You would be able to see from my old room some lovely sites, though you may have to share with my little brother Juergen. He sometimes wets the bed, but as long as you are quick on your feet I do not believe it will be a problem. Juergen is also a tremendous trombonist and will be able to serenade you as you fall asleep.

I am deeply saddened that you will be taking 'AKA Milly' with you. Will the television still work without her? Or will I need to also go do the Lost Dogs' Home? Is $80 still a reasonable price to pay to get a TV working or should I expect to pay less since this is an older model now?
Finally do you have any games that are with the PS3? in my salad days I was a big fan of GO! Sports SKi, but unfortunately I am yet to have Ski'd as we kept our old PS3 beside Juergen's bed and it was unfortunately not as spritely as I imagine you will need to be.

If you stay with my family would you be interested in perhaps reducing the cost of your television, since it does not come with a dog of any description, perhaps by $80 ....
- 1980horrora

I'm too tired to write a reply. Does that make me an unfun person or a wise one?

*** I think that this one's a bloke as well.


Anonymous said...

Ja, I has vound you vron ebay, I ztill vant ze gawg.

Kay said...

Sorry Kath, this made me laugh....

Kath Lockett said...

Oh Anonymous..... you get ten points for sleuthing and persistence I guess!

Kay, me too. Me too - what else can I do?

Anonymous said...

If you had the time and mental energy, it might be fun to indulge him. But seriously, free digs in Geneva? Nice views? Now, don't tell me you have checked to see if the address exists?

Hannah said...

This has to be a joke. How can this not be a joke? Otherwise I fear for humanity. I truly, truly do.

Pandora Behr said...

Sitting here chuckling - sorry. Priceless.

Helen said...

this CAN'T be real.
Do people actually spend time on ebay looking for people to mess with?

Romana said...

dear lord, give me (you) strength.

Plastic Mancunian said...

G'Day Kath,

All I can say is that it wasn't me.




Kath Lockett said...

Andrew I'm going to disappoint you but I haven't. Yet. Young Juergen's brother might get a nightly bed-wedding 'treatment' from me if I ever meet him in the flesh though....

Me too Hannah, me too. I suspect he's a friend of Mini-mind. Just as twisted but a much better speller.

Fair enough, Pandora :)

Second Helen it perhaps shows that there are a lot of people with too much time on their hands. 1980horrora would be better off writing a blog....

Thanks Romana - it's funny but turning into a slightly hysterical -oh my god I have so much to do in such a short time and really don't need this right now- kind of way; especially when I'm replying to dozens of other real queries about our other items.

Thanks Plasman - that's a relief.

mele said...

Hi Kath,

I sympathise.

It's not even funny. If it was, it would be worth a laugh, but it's just a time waster.

Franzy and I have been on ebay for years and no one has pestered us in such a way. I think you got really unlucky.

Franzy and I went to Geneva a few years ago. It is so unbelievably beautiful, it's breathtaking. Send us some photos.

Vanessa said...

My week is only half as stressful as yours and I want to kick this guy in the shins for you. Seriously some people need to get a life.
Not that you have the energy, but can they be reported on ebay for being nuisances?

Marie said...

Comedy gold.

This has to be a wind-up, surely. My money is on the first seller using one of his other fake accounts to continue the stoush. You get "loosers" like this all over the net - they have several online personas and they even go on forums and argue with themselves under various aliases. Genuine, quite literal wankers. Where do people get the time for such drama?

If you had time, I'd say go for it and exchange insults, but is it worth the hassle when you have so much else to do?

The most idiots I get on our ebay want you to pay them to take your goods. And deliver them free to their cave in Kunnanurra. These sites are full of tightarses.

Anonymous said...

You may have heard of David Thorne.

Some people find him funny (a friend of mine thinks he's freaking hilarious) . Personally. I find the joke runs thin after about two different exchanges, but it's a rich tapestry after all.

It looks to me like someone's trying to imitate him.....and doing fairly badly at it.

B Smith

iODyne said...

he sounds like R.H to me.
I'll get Copperwitch over here for full analysis.

R.H. said...

No, it wasn't me, and I'm unhappy anyone could think my humour is that pissweak. I'd do better than that. Kath is someone I'd never pick on anyway, she's always been very kind to me.
I'm vain about my comments and want my name on them. Very rarely would I use an alias and I never post as 'anonymous'. I've had to use an alias recently to comment on Miss Pavlov's blog (where RH has been banned more times than anywhere else). The alias is 'Pedant's corner'.

She knows it's me.

Jayne said...

Good lord, the crap people get up to when they have time on their hands lol.

WV = dwarkin ...Darwin's lesser known 'looser' cousin who drowned in the shallow end of the gene pool.

R.H. said...

Look for someone who's jealous.

Wally The Walrus said...

I think its very funny. Especially how the PS3 was not quite nimble enough for Juergen.

River said...

1980horrora sounds like a practical joker to me. I wouldn't sell him anything. Hope your TV finds a good home soon.