Monday, November 15, 2010

Edition Fifteen: Word Verification Explanations

Time for another selection of words I've typed in to convince Blogger and Wordpress that it is indeed a human being wishing to comment on someone else's online input. These are just a few that have been keyed in and what, in a parallel universe, they might mean:













Gunab
- the bloke chosen from the audience by belly dancers, comedians and singing drag queens. Gunabs are invariably shy, unwilling and too frightened to say 'no'. See: Love Chunks.

Manesacr - cutting one's hair to win the approval or at the insistence of a loved one/to avoid continued lice infestations/to be able to see/attend a job interview and be in genuine contention for the role. Always done with a great public show of reluctance but the person undergoing Manesacr knows - deep, deep inside - that it's for the best.

Lobsli - the mess incurred during and after the eating of whole crustaceans, especially when a bib, bowl of finger-dipping water and removal of claws and poo pipes (the food, not the eater's) are required.

Manco - unlike Lobsli which occurs at nice restaurants or well-catered for Christmas day events, Manco mostly happens on casual picnics or at the workplace and means the effects of eating a mango by hand. Manco produces sticky fingers and also leaves a bit of pulp string in between the front teeth, some unflattering (and highly questionable) orange splats on white shirt fronts and a lingering, perfumey pong in the waste paper basket.















Spitte - any gesture of contempt executed by a classy person.

Ansuboph - embarrassing rectal experiments conducted at home that end up in the Accident and Emergency ward with the excuse for the predicament invariably being, "I slipped and fell on this (insert the words: gerbil, cucumber, night light or egg beater here)."

Ansubophs are taken seriously and duly written down by the attending doctor when in the presence of the patient but are laughed at and shared around in the tea room afterwards. Particularly creative Ansubophs sometimes feature at medical students' end-of-year functions, complete with accompanying x-rays, chart notes and photographs.

7 comments:

Conor @ Hold the Beef said...

Can non-blokes be gunabs too? If so, I've been there... sigh... drag queens made me play a dummy spitting game (quite literally) and I was terribly beaten by two middle aged men.

Kath Lockett said...

Yes they can, Conor. I was the Queen Gunab for a knife juggler at a fringe event once. Bastard had me up there for HALF AN HOUR doing things I'm useless at, like throwing stuff. Knives, flaming drum sticks and spears, him insulting me in that 'isn't she hopeless and aren't I hilarious' kind of way.

Well where are YOU now, Mr Scoot?!!

River said...

Nice top hats there.

That is all.

Kath Lockett said...

They were selected because, quite obviously, they are a crowd of NON gunabs. Comedians, magicians, belly dancers and drag queens would never pick any of them out of the audience for public humiliation.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

G'Day Kath,

Yup - I am a gunab ...

:-(

Cheers

PM

Kath Lockett said...

PlasMan, I thought as much!

ms lottie said...

You make me cry whatever you write, either laughing so hard it makes me cry or tearing up reading about your daughter (in the newer post.)

In this post you had me at the first photo!