Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Inexplicably useful tool

The Australian Open is on and I sometimes watch it. I'll admit to being slightly partial to the class that is Roger Federer but normally I can sit and watch whoever's playing, with an eye to my knitting, patting Milly or skimming through a novel.

Andy Roddick, however, is a tool and commanded my entire attention.

After thinking hard and deciding to be honest about the return of my black dog I walked away from the computer and sat on the sofa next to Love Chunks, still in tears. He automatically put his arm around me and I leaned into him which I'm beginning to see is a good thing and nothing to waste time worrying about whether it's deserved or not.

As we chatted and waited for the start of the Andy Roddick and Marin Cilic match, channel seven showed us a few 'highlights', cleverly hidden under Optus' 'sounds of the open' badge.

Roddick-the-rectum was having a whinge to the chair umpire about someone in the crowd making a noise that distracted him. The umpire explained that apart from reminding the crowd to be quiet between points and whilst the players were serving, they were limited in what they could do if security were not able to pinpoint the actual person being a nuisance.
"There's not much else we can do," he said, to a curled-lip Rectum.

Roddick went on to complain a bit more and as LC and I sat there and wondered at the nastiness behind the complaint and the utter disdain he was showing towards the umpire, I realised that my black dog had obviously ducked out for a doo-doo for a moment, giving me a bit of time to breathe without the extra weight.

Roid-slick was showing me that a cosseted lifestyle in which you can fling towels at ball kids, curse an umpire, ask for somebody to rub your shoulder-woulder when you're losey-wosing and maybe twitter a vague apology later ("I wasn't 100 percent right") is wrong.

Of course we all know it's wrong, but I realised that a tool like Candy-Andy lives a life where his only concern is how well he hits a fuzzy bouncing ball and how much money he receives whilst doing it.

He doesn't need to behave like a decent person or worry about how his actions affect the feelings or self esteem of others. He's not measured for his morals or fairness and isn't expected to discuss anything beyond his sponsor and ranking. He is not required to do his share of household chores, cook a meal, be a genuine member of a local community or think of solutions that might help others around him.

What a sad, stupid git.

Perhaps it is a negative way for me to grasp at straws but as factors such as age, stronger players and injuries take their toll and his ranking decreases, my ranking can only go up.

And that's a good thing.


River said...

"Sad stupid git" is right. when he's old and retired, no longer able to hit that fuzzy ball better than anyone else, he'll find his life is SO empty, because he hasn't focussed on doing or learning anything else all those years. even all his money won't bring him comfort or happiness, although it might appear to for a while as people fawn over him like they do anyone who is filthy rich and happy enough to spend it on those he believes like him, when really it's his money they like.

wombat said...

Another McEnroe by the sounds of it.

They all peeve me... And the grunters doubly so. Williams sisters for example.

Cat J B said...

I don't watch the tennis. Partly because my simple brain just cannot grasp...or remember once it's been explained, AGAIN....exactly how the scoring system works. I think it's because I really have no desire to know. And any time I want to see a hissy fit or hear a whine, I just turn to my kids :)

jan said...

Way to go!!

So many athletes today forget who really pays their salaries. If we all stopped watching they might learn.

Baino said...

I just heard a couple of Channel 7 commentators moaning about the precious behaviour of tennis players, quittig after two sets down, injuring knees, calling for toilet breaks. Primadonnas.

Helen said...

I would love to complain about their bad attitudeds, but I'm too in awe of the fact that they can face a ball aimed at their heads without ducking. Because I can't.

I'm glad the black dog gave you a little bit of a break, I hope it goes on an extended vacation or something soon!

franzy said...

I've got to admit, I'm a bit of a Roddick fan. He won me over when he got the ballboys to play a few points for him and his opponent after a 20-game tie-breaker. One of the few Americans with a sense of humour too.
But if his downfall brings your upswing - Rollover Roddick!

Lynne said...

I'm with you Kath. And don't get me started on the Australian cricket team. Ga Pakistan, I say.

Glad to see the dog has retreated for a time. Hang in there. A lot of us out here love what you do and respect and admire you for it.

Lynne said...

Whoops - GO Pakistan.

Marshall-Stacks said...

oh Cat CB - thank you for the new knowledge that I am not the only one with a tennis score mental block.

It's a brain-pixel I just have not got. Husband (one time a Vic Champion player) ran away after 23 years of exasperation and a tennis club I belonged to asked me to leave because I just can't get it.

and why are those venus sisters so HUGE when they exercise for hours every day for years.
bugger those 30-minute walks each day that are sposed to make me slim.
love to you Kath