No, I don't think the spoiled tennis brat and his soapy wife on the cover are cute; AWW is an acronym for the Australian Women's Weekly. I got a couple of mentions on page 246 and it's enough to cheer me up and distract me from nervously wiping everything inside the house 6 foot and below with a damp chux.
Plus, I've just vaccuumed and mopped all the floors and have trapped myself in the study, waiting for them all to dry. You'll be pleased to know that the anal -retentive part of me has thought this scenario through carefully, and I'm in here with the laptop, the phone, a Farmers Union Feel Good iced coffee and some vegemite and cheese-slathered cruskits.
Actually, eating cruskits are a bit of a challenge in my current Nazi Housefrau mode because they're crumbly little buggers. I've been biting into their cardboardy shells by leaning my head back and letting the wholegrain shards plop directly in, hoping like hell that the neighbour on my south side isn't treated to my silhouette from their courtyard.
Milly's asleep at my feet in her beanbag, slightly huffy because I kept her outside when the vacuum was on and because I haven't dropped anything edible on the floor for her own little wet black hoover attachment to suck up and enjoy.
Back to AWW:
As I gaze down at my crackly, wrinkled hands, worn out from too many excessive rinses and wringings out of the chux superwipe, the irony of the article's title (and the uncanny likeless of the insanely laughing lady in the photograph) does not escape me:
I never wear yellow and she's probably flopped out on the ground because she's already sold her flippin' house.....
Perhaps, when the floors are finally dry and I've carefully put away the mop and bucket, un-fingerprinted the class coffee table, de-spotted the kitchen sink, cleaned out Skipper's hutch and finished sweeping up all of the pesky bark chips and bottle brush blossoms outside I'll take my own advice and pick up Sapphire from school and head directly to Cibos for gelati. Do not pass go, but feel welcome to collect $200......