Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Edition Seventeen: Word Verification Explanations

Here's my latest collection of words that various systems have required me to key in before commenting on my favourite blogs. Surely there's a meaning for them all in a parallel universe somewhere......

Muntand - You know that venal person at the office is so venally crabby and irritable that everyone ends up avoiding them entirely and not giving them any work? Even work thay they're actually supposed to be doing for you and the company? Well she (and for some reason most of them seem to be female) is a Muntand. By making herself as sour and unapproachable as humanly possible, things are cleverly positioned so that she is never required to do anything that involves helping her colleagues, providing any form of customer service or any form of end product.

Ironically, Muntands often have overly-adorned desks festooned with soft toys, puppy calendars and LOL cat print outs. These are cruelly in opposition to their evil 9-5 personas.

Even more ironically, the boss of the company/department/area office with ultimatye powers to reprimand and fire staff is scared of the Muntand and actively avoids asking her to do anything. Hence the Muntand is always the victor.

Sproter - A person who can delegate work and/or avoid responsibility by uttering this loaded phrase: 'Can I ask you a favour?'

The Sproter has you trapped because you are going to say 'yes' and it will hard not to say it again after the unreasonable request is out in the open. "Um, yeah, I'll see what I can do about shifting your car to another meter every hour you're in that meeting.'

(There are no recorded sightings of Sproters within tea-bag-hammer-throw distance of Muntands).

Ingutb - The nocturnal pings, burbles and inner oozings of a loved one's digestive tract as they lie sleeping. (Love Chunks' is known to sigh rather dramatically and travel several downward spirals in a weeble-weeble-weeble-plonk! fashion most nights). These colonic choruses are often louder than the person when they're awake (LC is on the quiet-side; not surprising considering who he spends his life with).

Romars - Terribly lost amateur bush walkers, usually clad in expensive and brightly coloured outdoor clothing, inevitably found freezing and lost by the media the next morning closely followed by the search and rescue team. Multiply the cost of their outdoor gear by twenty-seven and you end up with roughly the cost of the helicopter and abseiling retrieval expenses.

Padhorn - The act of tactfully explaining that it's OK, it happens to everyone and actually you really need the sleep because you've got a big day tomorrow anyway.

Wartion - Uncertainly eating a piece of chicken that's just-this-side of too pink for fear of offending the host. "Sweetie, these Moroccan pistacchio chicken delights are lovely..... Are you supposed to only cook them for two minutes on each side?" Exercising wartion is very polite but can run the risk of well, the runs.

Liquite - The moment of realisation that you spend more time writing things on the 'To Do' list than doing any of them.

Grato - The audible squeak-squeak sound of one shoe as you walk, making it impossible to sneak up behind anyone (see 'glethi' from a previous WWE in relation to corduroy trousers and shell suits). Grato is most common in homes with floorboards and linoleum, rendering their owners unable to go 'Boo!' to their beloveds when they're drinking hot tea (which is probably a good thing).


Jayne said...

I love me the weeble-weeble-weeble-plunk sound the Spouse makes...from two rooms away.
It's only slightly drowned out by his chainsaw snoring.

WV= purmse ...When one's bestie from the dim, dark 80s promises that the poodle perched atop your noggin "Really does look grouse, Sharlene!"

Kath Lockett said...

LOVE the 'Purmse' description, Jayne and this spoken from someone who used to spend small fortunes on getting my thin cobwebs in a spiral perm .....

River said...

weeble-weeble-weeble......made me laugh. I've noticed the weebling is louder depending on what i've eaten.

WV: baidg
Sounds like some sort of weird new haggis flavour.

Elisabeth said...

Oh Kath, I recognize all of these as my own digestive tract does it's afternoon burble ingutb.

And whenever we encounter a wartion, which happens often in household, we off the microwave to help avoid even the possibility of the runs.

Thanks Kath.

The Plastic Mancunian said...

G'Day Kath,

I know a male muntand. ALso, I know a few Sproters but I tend to say "No - too busy!!"

I've also had a Liquite moment and have now given up writing "to do" lists.

None of my shoes squeak, which means that Mrs PM has to put up with lots of mayhem when I creep around the house.

Word verification for this comment is "dastem" which is the noise Mrs PM makes when I scare the buggery out of her.




Kath Lockett said...

Thanks River. In LC's case, it 'weeble weeble weebele-ping!-s every night regardless of what he eat!

Using the microwave to avoid having to participate in wartion is what we often do too, Elisabeth. However what do you do if you're at someone else's place?

Nice responses, PlasMan. I'm surprised that Mrs P only says 'dastem' to you!

Anji said...

I'm sure that these will make their way into the dictionary.

My word is 'schrolyi' which is appropriate as I'm off scrolling, searching and surfing

drb said...

I am a Sproters and I inspire to be a muntand.

Did any pink chiken give you the run? I do prefer my chicken pink.