Monday, August 29, 2005

Survivor 11 – Guatemala

Here’s what the official blurb from the CBS website ( says: “Stranded deep in the Guatemalan rainforests amidst the ruins of an ancient civilization, 16 castaways must live together and compete for the million-dollar prize. Who will outwit, outplay and outlast all others in Guatemala?’

Despite getting on my high horse about the crassness and stupidity of shows like Big Brother, Temptation Island et al, I love Survivor. I’ve seen every series except the first which was probably a blessing in disguise because there was enough of Richard Hatch’s nudey-rudey exploits in the All-Star series.

If you’re a fan like me, or mildly interested or keen to have a cyber bet on who will win (without having anything to go on other than the players’ descriptions), then write a comment under this post with your email details, playing ‘name’ (it can be a nickname) and your final three picks for the ultimate survivor. I will be posting a summary of each episode and a Premiership Table of those in the competition.
So, who are they?

Amy – 39 year old police sergeant. Looks like one too. She’s an ex-professional football player (only in America….) who likes weight training. Surprisingly she’s straight and married with two cats.

Blake – 24 year old real estate broker and aspiring model who studied at Oxford. Well, he was there for a year but it sounds intellectual and stuff. He lists his three favourite activities as skydiving, hunting (??!) and kissing. If you check out the width of his mouth, you may feel a little frightened if he lunged in to suck your face….

Brandon – 22 year old farmer who looks like the half-brother of the pop group Hanson or a surfer who took a pipeline too far into the bible belt. He’s most proud of climbing to the top of his local radio tower and therefore shows us that he has about as much life experience as a soft-boiled egg.

Brian – 22 year old student with a psychology degree. Was voted ‘Prom Prince’ and ‘Most Likely to Succeed’ in high school. Like Brandon, he has absolutely no life experience but “I’ve written papers on it.” Let’s hope that the youngster realises that he could be risking more than a paper cut or liquid paper inhalation injury in Guatemala.

Judd – 34 year old hotel doorman. Looks like Boston Rob’s older brother crossed with a Lindt ball. Likes baseball (obviously watching it with a bag of Doritos, not playing), bike riding (ditto) and coaching his daughter’s softball team. Married with one kid.

Lydia – 42 year old fishmonger. Reckons that she’s lived all over the world as an ‘army brat’ and has a degree in early childhood education, which may come in handy when dealing with all of the young uns in Guatemala. Likes to swim, so hopefully she can translate her fish-mongering skills into fish catching skills.

Margaret – 43 year old nurse who works at a clinic providing free healthcare to poor families. Loves scuba diving, volleyball and hiking through rainforests. Is married with 2 sons and 2 dogs. Too wholesome for me to mock (at this stage, anyway).

Morgan – 21 year old Magician’s Assistant and waitress who already looks like she could do with a long hard session at a smorgasbord. Morgan was a dancer in high school and a cheerleader in college. No mention of a degree, so I’m going to think the worst of the US tertiary system and assume it’s a Bachelor of Pep Rallying.

Rafe – 21 year old student who looks like Boris Becker’s kookier younger brother. Was raised by a Mormon inventor father and artist mother and spent his childhood “painting rocks and taking machines apart.” As you do. Now studying biology and anthropology and runs a cooking class for other students. A busy little chap, isn’t he?

Gary – 46 year old ex-NFL Quarterback for the Dallas cowboys, now a real-estate developer. What the hell does he need a million bucks for? Surely some of the others (maybe the older ones) will have heard of him? Likes hunting and horseback riding and is married with four kids, 1 dog, a cat and three horses. A real contender, if the others don’t gang up on him and kick him out.

Jamie – 24 year old water-ski instructor based in California; so yes, he’s also an aspiring actor. His portrait shows a bowl-cut and eyebrows that the Oasis brothers would kill for. Was his high school’s wrestling champion, but bucked the bonehead trend and also got a degree in finance. Actually maybe he is still a bonehead – why earn a degree in finance, only to work as a ski instructor wanting to be an actor?

Jim – 63 year old retired firefighter. He started in the marines, and then worked as a firefighter. After he retired, he climbed the Himalayas and some other pointy places in Peru. He’s currently taking helicopter flying lessons and is building one of his own. At least he’s not under his wife’s feet at home. Has three grown children.

Brianna – 21 year old make up artist, and obviously a huge fan of Magic Tan, if her photo is to be believed. Was a high school cheerleader and dancer and a member of the Christian Youth Club. Hmmm, a cute-but-god-lovin’ bimbo – must have been a real challenge for the guys at her school!

Cindy – 31 year old zookeeper who previously worked as a pet counselor (????) Looks very fit and muscular as indicated by her hobbies of fishing, camping and canoeing. Another genuine contender (as long as she has a sense of humour).

Brooke – 26 year old law student with eyebrows like exhausted commas. (If that description doesn’t make you curious enough to visit NBC’s website, nothing will). Likes skiing (are you listening, Jamie) and playing Frisbee with her dog.

Danni – 30 year old sports radio co-host. Looks gorgeous enough to be on TV, not radio, so it’s no surprise that she’s an ex-model as well. Was Miss Kansas in 1996 and still holds the 2 mile relay record at her high school. She loves to play, read and talk about all sports. And she’s SINGLE fellas!

So, do you want to play? If yes, please send me your final three picks by close-of-business 15th September by writing to me via the comments box at the end of this article. Include your real name (just for me), your game name (for public consumption) and your final three picks.

I was sad and desperate enough to phone Channel Nine who have confirmed that they will be playing the series, but aren’t sure yet on what date or what time. Stay Tuned!


deepkickgirl said...

Having never watched an episode of Survivor I'm a virgin at this game. But being in Guatemala makes it a must see for us (yes, I've got a commitment from Jay that he will watch it with me).

Like with Big Brother I don't give a &*%$ who wins, they are all loathesome creatures, but I can't stop watching, like a rabbit transfixed in the headlights of an oncoming semi.

However, I love a tipping comp. (yes, damn it, I admit it... I'm in the Oz Idol tipping comp - so far I'm 1573 out of 2742, so I'm not counting on the big prize at the moment).

Anyway... I do go on... my top three pics for Survivor are:
1) Amy
2) Margaret
3) Lydia

Why? I can't bring myself to pick any of the anorexic dolly birds and the guys just look too moronic for human comprehension.

Let the games begin...

Anonymous said...

Rob here,
my three are Jugg,Danni and Brooke

Anonymous said...

Hi Kath, can you change the yellow on black writing please - it kills the eyes and makes it a taxing read. Perhaps a more viewer friendly colour combo - definitely not a red or blue mix either.

Anonymous said...

doing this from home, because we are blocked from doing it from work. Anyhow, as always I look forward to your weekly write ups. After much consideration these are my 3 picks -
Is there anything to pay this time, or is it just for the prestige?

Take it easy.
Ray Hall.
If a nickname is required then - Special Ray.

Anonymous said...

Jenny here - go the young, the beautiful and the fat!

Brandon, Brooke, Judd

Anonymous said...

my 3 picks are Brian, Brooke Brandon from Bec

Anonymous said...

Amy, Cindy, Judd from Phil