Thursday, March 15, 2012

Swiss world problems

We've all heard of First World Problems like this:

...and not only recognised them, but also had a laugh at the wins:

....and now I think it's time to share some Swiss World Problems with you all.  Geneva is universally and consistently found to be the second or third (depending on the poll or survey) most expensive city in the world.  First, if just rent per income is taken into account. No wonder all of the nurses who changed Sapphire's IV drip in December lived in France and I haven't had a haircut since Christmas.

Milly and I did our usual walk in the park this morning and found a homeless man sleeping in the fenced 'Off Leash' area right alongside the clanking cranes and drills of the building site next door.  This unpeaceful doze was further ruined by his being barked at by a puzzled Alsatian who was accompanied an angry lady in a fur coat who'd just parked her brand new Beamer nearby and was gesticulating at a council worker to get rid of the unsightly sleeping sod.  A bizarre scene that set me thinking. 

What are Swiss world problems?  Here's a few that spring to mind:

Stupid government is trying to restrict holiday homes and ski chalets to only twenty percent of all the properties in each town. NO WAY!

Didn't get to see Arnold  Schwarzenegger speak at the Geneva summit last week - only 3,000 invitations were issued.  

Had to leave the Ferrari in the outdoor car park because of the crowds at the International Motor Show.

Freshly baked bread was warm when I walked home, but stale by the time I wanted it for lunch.

L'Occitane almond oil hand moisturiser takes too long to rub in and leaves glittery specks of crushed pearls afterwards.

That unbearable feeling when you slip on your winter coat and your jumper arms ride up halfway through the sleeves.

You let someone cross the road at the yellow lines and they don't give you the nationally acknowledged and expected 'nod of thanks'.

One IKEA pillow is too flat but two are too high.

Bircher meusli is just too complicated to chew for breakfast on mornings when you're running late.

Chocolate blocks are on special, tightly-packaged in groups of ten. But there are only seven days in a week.

Only have a two hundred franc note in your wallet but tram ticket machine takes five franc coins.

Bloody husband forgets to bring back any duty free from his last overseas business trip.

Damn Victorinox knife cuts my finger again.


The Plastic Mancunian said...

Bonjour Kath,

First of all, I've just had yet another last minute lightning trip to Geneva - arrived on Tuesday pm, worked Tuesday night/Wednesday (10pm to 5am) then flew home Wednesday afternoon. I would have called to say hello but there was no time sadly. Maybe next time ...

And yes - I am shattered.

Anyway, I've found that:

Geneva is very expensive. Even with a subsidy in the airport, the guys I was working with bought us lunch and it cost him his arm and his leg.

Internet in the hotel is very expensive as is breakfast.

Most people commute from France because Geneva is so expensive.

Anyway, Mrs PM really wants to come to Geneva and if there is another trip, we will almost certainly visit chez Lockett - unless I have to work crazy hours of course (all part of the job sadly :-( )




nuttynoton said...

something for us to look forward to, may be sharing the chocolate to make them last a week and yes those swiss knives are sharp!

Kath said...

No worries Plasman - we'd love to have you both over for a meal at our place (you'll get a close up look of our spunky kitchen tiles), rather than a soggy (and overpriced) airport baguette.

Never fear, Nuttynoton dear - we'll have enough chocolate to last more than a week!

Kirstie said...

Oh the suffering!
Though I must admit I do suffer all winter long from the long selves under the coat riding up and it is most frustrating. I do wish I had a Ferrari to be cranky about being forced to park outdoors, sadly no such luck.
Thanks for the laughs.

Cat J B said...

Ah, love my super sharp knives but damn, my finger tips do suffer!

River said...

Awww, poor thumb.
The idea behind the ten pack chocolate blocks is to buy three, which gives you thirty, then only eat them in April, June, September and November.

River said...

P.s. the jumper sleeve/coat trick is to hold the jumper cuff in your fist as you push through the coat sleeve. My mum taught us this trick when we were about three. everybody I knew did this and I taught my kids, who then taught theirs.. For younger ages, I a small loop was sewn to the cuff which was hooked around the thumb, before attempting to put a coat on a baby.

franzy said...

Ha ha! Solid!

Don't forget:
Everyone is jealous because I live in Switzerland.

Pandora Behr said...

Husband forgetting duty free - sackable offence... and I get the pillow thing. And listen to river about the coats and jumpers =- wise woman.

The Elephant's Child said...

No duty free should indeed be a crime nearly warranting death. It would be if I could bring myself to support the death penalty.
I am sorry to say that all sharp knives are off limits to me now. Just when I want to use them as well.
Jumpers are enough. I don't wear coats. (see MS has a benefit).
The chocolate thing is a crime.

diane b said...

Switzerland is expensive but so is Sydney and Brisbane now that our dollar has boomed. I could think of a few more Swiss world problems and they are the reason we live here and not there even though Bill is Swiss. I never saw a homeless person when we lived there but we were in the German part not the French part.I wouldn't have a problem with the chocolates 10 would easily go down in 7 days. Pretty shocking disaster over there this week.

Kath said...

Thanks Kirstie. No Ferrari for us either, just a snigger as we drove on past ..... to France, for cheap shopping.

CatJB, I've had more cuts here in (has a think), errr ten months than I've had in my entire life. Bread and oranges are the worst culprits.

River I normally link my fingers into the sleeves but sometimes get lazy and think it won't happen. It does though, every time.

Really, Franzy? Sapphire and I had a laugh the other day when we heard a stand up comedian say that insulting a Swiss person in a racist way to really hurt them is almost impossible. What is intended to be mean just sounds hilarious:
You cheese eating, fondue loving, alpen horn blowing, chocolate making, pocket knife carrying neutralist!

Pandora, would you believe that LC bought something back for me this week? Belgian chocolates!

E-Child, I'm learning how to cope with the chocolate situation. Buy the ten and make them fit into seven.

Diane_b, the bus crash is on the news here all over the place and there was a national day of mourning declared by Belgium.

drwife said...

We went to Manor this morning and there was a woman standing, waiting for a seat at the Caviar bar. So, there you go, must wait in line for Champagne and Caviar brunch before grocery shopping.

Or how about petrol is more expensive than good wine.

Looking forward to meeting so we can compare notes and I can learn from your 10 months of experience oh great Geneva Guru.

Anji said...

Have you nmanaged to understand why they don't want more holidays? We haven't.

ropcorn said...

So true about the Coke and Pepsi, not the same thing! Not that I really drink much soda, but anyway. I did not know Geneva was so expensive, so more expensive than Sweden then? Either way, interesting to know about some Geneva issues. And I hope your thumb heals quickly. :-)

Kymmie said...

Haha! Always a laugh from you Kath!

I must come and visit. Am feeling like I'm missing out on all those Swiss World Problems. I'd love to complain of the fresh warm bread being too stale by lunchtime.



Kath said...

Yep, there seem to be a few people that need a spot of caviar before shopping at Manor, drwife!

No idea why the Swiss recently voted 'no' to more holidays, Anji. My guess is that the great(er) unwashed would have to work harder and longer on the other days in order to survive; and poshies mightn't cope for an extra two weeks without the nanny, cleaner and driver available.

Ropcorn, I'm hoping that when I visit Sweden I'll be pleasantly surprised by the prices. We certainly felt like that during our short trip to London last year.

Thanks Kymmie. Bread is quite literally the lifeblood of lunch here.

Red Nomad OZ said...

Oh, if ONLY the world knew of your suffering!!!

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