Wednesday Word Verification Edition Number Four
Dourram - A barman who has seen every single aspect of humanity that life can throw up (literally and figuratively). So much so that no amount of friendly flirting, pleasant chit-chat or hilarious attire will raise an eyebrow, let alone a smile. "He's a right old Dourram, isn't he? Douggie said 'Surprise me,' and the sour old bugger poured him out a small glass of Wild Turkey."
Snalg - The disgusting by-product of an unprotected sneeze. My worst snalg occurred in a fancy restaurant when I turned my head to sneeze and a shimmery oyster shot across the room and landed on the tweed-covered trouser leg of an enderly gent several tables over. Nobody else noticed but me. Public Snalgs invariably end up on Fail blog, YouTube or Facebook profiles.
Haboofic - Live performances that go so wrong they end up more entertaining than if things had gone according to plan. Recent examples include Australia, United States and Italy's performances in the World Cup; Russell Hantz's (pictured below) clueless anger in the Survivor finale; any wardrobe malfunctions or fainting grooms featured on Australia's Funniest Home Videos and bad lip-synching during the Eurovision song contest. On film, 'This is Spinal Tap' provide a truly haboofic performance of 'Stonehenge' during their ill-fated American tour.
Rucloact - The unappetisingly unattractive shadowy 'patch' just above the pubic area that the viewer hopes never to get a glimpse of again. Mr Hantz, pictured above, unfortunately lost a bit of weight whilst living on coconuts and seawater and his Rucloact was increasingly on show due to the increasing sagginess of his jocks. Never was I more grateful for Survivor's prudish editing and generous use of pixellation than during the last series.
Twayorit - An uncool person who joins Twitter in an attempt to 'get onboard with rapidly changing technology to connect and engage with Gen Y and Millennials'. The Twayorit's intentions may be noble, but they are sadly destined to be mocked or, worse, ignored entirely. Besides, both of those outcomes can be achieved just as easily by blogging but without the dependence on a mobile phone.
Infit - The agonising decision to put up with a creeping wedgie whilst walking down the street in public. Accepting an infit means enduring physical discomfort rather than risk being seen picking out your knickers.