Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bonza Baino

When I started blogging .... actually that sounds a bit rude, doesn't it, as though I decided to treat myself to a regular post-breakfast enema but let's move away from bowel movements and back to blogging.... (ahem)......

(Puffs out chest proudly and affects a pompous tone): When I started blogging nearly five years ago, the aim was simply to play with some web technology that even I could navigate on my own without ending up in crying in the corner rocking to myself, and also to try and keep some writing 'fitness' up by posting at least two or three times a week.

Never did I realise that I'd actually make friends on it as well. Friends whose lives I'd eagerly read about and visit daily just to see what they were up to. And this has been the real bonus for me. The other night, Sydney blogger and all-time Awesome Kick-Arse Mother and Techno Tart Baino was holidaying in Melbourne with her daughter ClareBear. Did I want to meet up for a drink on Monday? Do fish pee in the sea?!

Baino's on the left, looking younger and slimmer than she tells us she is on her blog. Next time I hope I can convince her that Love Chunks, Sapphire and I aren't axe-wielding psychopaths who knit knee rugs from our own belly button fluff (or not very often anymore) and that she's welcome to enter through our Gates of Hell and have dinner. Or stay. Any maybe help us knit....

Afterwards I got home, started yelling at my visiting parents (three glasses of wine on an empty stomach and I think I'm whispering delicately) over dinner and started thinking about the other bloggers I've met in person.

Franzy - Funnier than seeing Malcolm Turnbull in a Centrelink Queue. Smart. Quick to tell me that he's disappointed if some of my bloggings are lazy. New father, sleep-deprived; still suffering the shock and wonderment of it all but able to work up a good rage every now and then. I hope to buy his best-selling and critically-acclaimed works of fiction when he finishes them.

Ashleigh - Quirky. Intelligent. Passionate about the ridiculousness of finance, enviro-greenwashing and actively querying just why (oh god, why?) his local council won't allow boobies or willies to be shown as artworks in public places. Challenged me to a blind chocolate tasting that showed we both have a lot to learn, which is a damn convenient way of allowing us to eat more of the good brown stuff.

Delamere - Warm. Friendly. Sharp as a whip. Mother of three, career-woman, home renovator, rabbit and cat wrangler and - to highlight some cruelly bad timing - she used to work at Cadbury Schweppes before we met. Being ensconced in a telephone company just doesn't have the same ring to it (boom boom). Intense love of all things Jane Austen but possibly not their corsetry or whalebone devices.

Red Cap
- Hilariously dark writer who's been rarer than Pamela Anderson in a polo neck in the blogosphere of late. Brain the size of a planet. Snarky but with a beating heart of gold. Brilliant writer and photographer. Keeps her chin up during even the darkest times (and some of those involved being spat on and groped by a drag queen during a festival revue).

Deep Kick Girl
- As John Cusack-obsessed as I was. Clever. Generous. All kinds of interests ranging from wearing silly hats proudly in public to rigorous fundraising. Has a tattoo of her favourite band in a very special place that might also get a Sydney Swans logo to accompany it. Deftly survived the rigours of South American travel (twice) with the same dignity she possesses during a fight for a car-parking space outside a childcare centre.

Go East Young Woman. Determined. Bright. Observant. I'd say 'glamorous' until she opens her mouth and makes a drunk Collingwood fan blush and cover his defacto-on-parole's ears. Has more stamps on her passport than I have pairs of shoes. Fashionable and computer savvy. Devoted mother to two cats who have travelled to Holland, Australia and Dubai. Not too shabby with a camera either.

Lessons Learned. Fearless. Astute. Tenacious. Single-handedly takes on the health system on behalf of hearing-impaired babies and children everywhere. Black-belted karate teacher that patiently put up with my explosively embarrassing farts and still managed to teach me something. Should apply those killer skills to budget advisors because everyone's afraid of an angry scientist with the ability to crack a gonad in a single kick.

. Hilarious. Ingenious. Witty. Met him the same night I met Franzy and knew him straight away just from his descriptions. Bought his book despite considering poetry about as accessible as modern interpretative dance, but thankfully (and not surprisingly) loved his. After all, how many blokes can pen a poem about marking a block of Bega cheese like a football? I selfishly wish he'd put his kids and study books down and write more.

Simply Natural - My ex-boss. Intelligent. Graceful. Kind. Strong. Has endured more than her fair share of sadness and challenge over the past few years but survives and thrives far better than she thinks she does. Should consider moving into interior design professionally because it's clearly her passion and her talent. I often wonder if she keeps me as a friend for the sole reason of being her 'BEFORE' case study for all things decorative, stylish and elegant.

All of them are as fabulous in person as their blogs which detail their loves, hates, frustrations, laughs, bemusements and opinions. All are hugely witty and wonderful writers and I envy them their unique way of looking at the world and their place within it.

Thank blog for this freebie online device that we can so easily tap at in the privacy of our lounge rooms or at the work desk during lunch hour or I'd never have known you. Same goes for those bloggers I haven't met yet. Your absence would make my world a lesser place.

Sapphire read this sentence over my shoulder, furrowed her brow and said, "Well, do they?"


lc said...

You had me a bit worried - thought JC (apt initials for someone so idolised) had turned up here too!

WV: Froundy - member of the club of the happily morbidly obese. (Dawn French is a Froundy; Magda has deserted.)

Kath Lockett said...

I wonder if everyone's gone all shy today?

Benjamin Solah said...

I've met a few of my blogging friends, and some on a writers' forum. They were quite an experience.

Also the Melbourne contingent of NaNoWriMo meets regularly and compulsively in November. I went a few times and that was fun too.

River said...

Wow you've met so many of your bloggy friends! It's lovely to know they're all as nice in real life as they are on their blogs. I hope you get to meet many more, they certainly all deserve to meet you.

delamare said...

I hadn't realised that you've met so many of us either! And I have to say that you are as just as funny, warm and chocolately in real life as you are here!

Thanks for your kind words Kath ... and I wouldn't be too fond of the ablutions back in Jane Austen's day wither.

Baino said...

Hahaha . . eggsellent. Now I have even more blogs to visit. It's a real pleasure to have met you babe. (I didn't think you'd post the photo so I've done the same in REVENGE). You're lucky to have met so many, mine are bloody miles away! @ River - start a blog **** start a blog***start a blog**** build it and they will come! Hmm . .think I might be one for the foundy club!

franzy said...

Oh you.

The script from your R2D2 pic is sourced from Blue Harvest.
I think you're mistaking "smart" for "trivia hoover".

I've just finished reading the second draft of my novel and I'm now seeking readers ... interested?

Jack42 said...

Hi Kath, I'm a friend of Ashleigh's and I read his blog and Darrens regularly. I've noticed your amusing, incisive comments and this is the first time I've followed the link to your blog. What a treasure! So nice to see your descriptions of what these people are actually like in person. Thanks. I'll keep a bookmark warm just for you!

Kath Lockett said...

Benjamin - maybe I could do that November Nanoo-Nanoo thing too? It's probably a more likely place to meet you than at one of those violent, car-overturning rallies of yours :)

River, you are making me cry. YOU would have been included too if you'd write a BLOG! :)

Thanks Delamere and yes, the ablutions would not have been the best, I agree. Perhaps we could share their life and conversation skills but go back home to elasticated underwear and bathrooms with electricity?

Baino you would not fulfil the membership requirements for lc's proposed FROUNDY club. You're too small and too young!

Franzy, YES YES YES please, I'd love to.

Benjamin Solah said...

Yeah NaNo is much safer ;) You can usually measure this by how crazy most people in a particular group think I am. And the NaNoers think I'm nuts.

i.e. After I first joined, rumours started floating around. "You know that new guy, Ben? I heard he was a full-blown commies!"

Kath Lockett said...

Thank you Jack42 - with lovely comments like that, you're welcome any time.

Benjamin if we combine your violent commie leanings with my tendency to sing to dogs and kiss rabbits on the lips we could have ourselves a really interesting writers club!

Deep Kick Girl said...

Amen, Kath. Where would we all be without the blog-o-sphere to throw our rantings and ravings into? I can't remember my pre-blogging life to be honest.

Benjamin Solah said...

Sounds like an excellent writing group!

Sophie said...

That's not true at all!

I do recall a drunken Collingwood fan introducing me to his girlfriend-on-parole's with the praisworthy words,

"That's the one I told you about Sheree. Yeah. She's orright though."

What could be more praiseworthy?