Saturday, November 11, 2006

Crap at copping Criticism

Hi regular reader(s) - if there's one consistent thing that most of us regular bloggers hate, it's those 'brave' boofheads who like to sling s**t at your post via the 'anonymous' link. These pathetic people love the idea of being able to slag something but obviously wouldn't dare release their own email, website or blog in order to have a semi-intelligent discussion or their excremental opinions disproved.

And lo, it has happened to me. A few times, but this particular Anonymous weasel is clearly a slow reader, because she/he/it has, now in November, decided to take umbrage at some light-hearted articles I posted about our little family holiday in January. You can click and read them here:;;

Anonymous, who was smart enough to list her/him/itself as "Proud to be a BRAND" but remain anonymous in terms of being contacted back, wrote: "I've just read your articles on your visit to the Riverland. Being a former Riverlander and also descendant of the Brand family I must say I'm quite disappointed and doubt that I would be the only 'Brand' insulted by your comments. You should be proud of you (sic) heritage in the Riverland. I have just moved to Darwin and have to say the heat in the Riverland is nothing compared to what we have up here. If that doesn't suit those city Yuppies who cant (sic) live without an air con, thats (sic) fine. Dont (sic)come back. With that kind of attitude I dont (sic) think anyone would really give a crap."

Aw, bless you and your lack of grammatical skills, oh Brand-bogan who is, unfortunately, likely to be a very distant relative. Let me clarify a few points for you, OK, brainiac?

1) I am a country-born and bred gal, from the Riverland. I love the place: why else would I drag my family there for the Summer holiday?

2) Anyone who needs air-conditioning in 44C heat is NOT a whinger, just a normal human being who prefers to not have their eyeballs shrink in their sockets when they open the back door and like to be able to sleep without the risk of drowning in their own cleavage sweat.

**Gasp, wheeze*... nearly made it to Overland Corner..... Need to have a yarn with Andrew ...*gasp, wheeze****

3) Thirdly, Andrew, the current proprietor of Overland Corner (originally built and run by the venerable Brand family) is NOT a Brand family member. He is a hard working publican doing the best he can out in the middle of nowhere in the midst of a summer that sucks the moisture out of your bum nuggets before you can even think of crapping them out. So, he has the conversation skills of a grumpy Marcel Marceau - that's just honest writing, poo brain!

4) We 'aint no yuppies, Butt Breath. Love Chunks and I both went to country high schools, boarded in Adelaide and had to work all of our summers in physically hard, menial jobs to help pay our way through our education. (I challenge thee - have you ever crawled on your hands and knees through a muddy plowed paddock to pick out garlic bulbs?) Our daughter, Sapphire, goes to her local, public primary school and we own one ten year old car. 95% of our wardrobe is via Target, K-Mart or the finds my mother makes when manning the counter at the Victor Harbor 'Life Line' second hand shop off Ocean street. To paraphrase Shakespeare's Lady MacBeth - up yours with a billiard queue.

Finally, 'Proud to be a Brand' but 'Too Gutless To Reveal My Slimy Self' - I have lived in Darwin, for two years and loved every minute of it. It's a different kind of heat up there in the tropics - as in tropical, steamy, humidity not like being blow dried to death with God's own styling wand here down south. Both are bloody hard climates to live in and both - I dare you to admit otherwise - are made one thousand percent easier with air conditioning or ceiling fans. Show me a Darwiner without one or both of those cooling aids and I'll show you someone who's not a Full Can of Fanta. (Unless it's you of course). To throw in a tiny brag, I've played competition tennis from 1pm -5pm in both climates and won each and every single set I played!

I don't know how to spell a raspberry, to you, Proud to be a Brand, but here's my guess:

Paaattoooooey Ptthththththth !!


Jan said...

You tell it to the "too chicken to own it"!!!

Ross said...

You need to sort out your template as the posts text block falls into the side bar making it difficult to read

fifi-belle said...

Dude, you need to check your eyesight!