Cheap Shots

Jude, maaaate, surely you can still remember your address?

Jude, Jude, Jude, JUDE. What on earth have you done to that heavenly face of yours?

Even during the most awful deprivations of 'Cold Mountain' you looked perkier and prettier than this. I sure hope you haven't been overindulging in any electric spinach, fermented yeast drinks or other face-ruining fun stuff....

So Angelina (in costume here as slain journo Daniel Pearl's wife) and Brad's hired heavy goons might have shoved a few innocent Indian kiddies into the path of an oncoming train.... what's more concerning is Ange's twiggy, veiny arms - she makes Kate Bosworth look like Newman from Seinfeld!

Maybe that's why she looks so concerned - someone broke the rules and walked by with a sandwich. Or another third world baby.

Awww, here we have Sarah Jessica Parker's main squeeze, Matthew Broderick, and son, um, Wee Willie Winkie - that's close enough.

Wee Willie's the one eating the iceblock, but Matty-cakes is definitely a contender for the 2006 poster boy representing one of mother's old (but true) fashion adage: 'Don't wear horizontal stripes if you're wider across than you are up and down'.

Here's Gwen Stefani with her bub, looking as though she took the time to choose the right designer belt but totally forgot about brushing her hair.

Call me an old-fashioned 1980s relic, but white sunglasses should never, ever be allowed to be worn again. Ever.

And why is she enrolling her son in the army at this age?

Clearly S**tney is all geared up for the silly season - emphasis on silly of course.

Sadly, this photo was taken after she gave Fed-Ex the flick, so we have only her grey matter to blame for the outfit choice - Santa hat in November, stupid white sunnies, see-through mesh top (so tasteful for a mother), proudly picking out her own belly button lint, showing us that she's still got a bit of verandah over her tool shed and wearing some kind of skirt that Michael Jackson would envy.