Questionnaire

We've all had these sent to us from time to time, but I admit to having no idea what a 'meme' is that's referred to by other very popular bloggers. Despite my cyber-dagginess, feel free to use this for your own purposes and let me know if you found out anything interesting.

Star sign and what you think it means about you:
Scorpio but I don't believe I fit the profile - I'm not ruthless, oversexed or dressed like a femme fatale!

When was the best time of your life?
UK in 1991-92 for the sheer irresponsibility of travel, taking on lowly jobs not related to a real career, pommy pubs and cider, mates, road testing different boys - all of whom only saw me as who I was right then and there and NOT what I was like growing up in my home town, or at Uni, or in Adelaide.
AND 1993, when I met my husband.

Best physical feature:
My skin - biggest organ of the body and happily deals with soap, water and whatever the cheapest moisturiser is that month at Coles

5 foods that you'd take with you on a desert island:
Hmmm, I'm assuming that there'd be tropical fruit, coconuts and seafood there, so I'll go for Cheese, Farmers Union Feel Good Iced Coffee, CHOCOLATE, bacon and rice

5 albums you'd listen to on the desert island:
Oingo Boingo's 'Best of'; Divine Madness, Stone Age Romeos - Hoodoo Gurus; If this is rock'n'roll I want my old job back - The Saw Doctors and Bruce Springsteen's greatest hits

Don't forget the five books you're allowed to stow away:
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee, Cold Mountain - Charles Frazier, Exodus - Leon Uris (the only book that's ever made me cry); Catch 22 - Joseph Heller and Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Luckily, there's a DVD player hidden under a coconut tree. What five would you bring? Gladiator, Dead Poets' Society, The Sure Thing, Donnie Darko, American Beauty. Next week my top five will change, as is my wont.

Imagine, too, that you're allowed 'conjugal visits' from five famous people during your stay on the island. Who would you choose and why?
1) John Cusack - because I've been in love with his quirkiness since 1985;
2) Jude Law because he's stunning to look at;
3) Russell Crowe (but only in his Gladiator role, not his bonehead real life punchin' self);
4) Daniel Day Lewis (but only in his 'Last of the Mohicans' look, not his big-bearded weirdo arty farty self);
5) Hmmm, struggling to choose between Hugh Grant (I know I know but he's nice to look at), Viggo Mortensen, Keanu Reeves, Haydn Christensen - all very nice visual stimuli.

Do you have a tattoo? If yes, what and where? Yes. Between my hip bone and my, ahem 'map of tassie' - A blue rose because my daughter's name is Rose and she and Love Chunks have beautiful blue eyes. It reminds me of what's most important in my life because I was in danger of losing it all earlier in the year.

What three things really annoy you?
1) Cheap locally made advertisements with Santa hats on products not exactly on top of everyone's wish list - ie Repco Auto Parts, Cartridge World and the Shaver Shop.
2) Fat fashion victims - we may still be recovering from too many years of the muffin top but a wide peasant belt does NOT hide one's bouncing gut either gals
3) The Bali Nine - stupidity knows no bounds and I wish the media would stop wasting column inches on them

What are your three worst habits?
1) Not being able to resist looking into my tissue after I've blown into it (There! I admitted it!)
2) Eating far too much chocolate
3) Kissing the dog (on the head, not the lips! Besides, do dogs actually have any lips??)

What three things would you buy if you won $100,000?
1) A new car - a VW passat in silver
2) A renovated bathroom - so we can finally be rid of the 1980s pink and brass nightmare we currently live with
3) A few weeks holiday with hubby and daughter in Europe and not on the cheap

What would you do if you won a million dollars?
Pay off the house, put some aside for our daughter's secondary and university schooling, a new car, some renovations and maybe even go back to uni to study without worrying about an ongoing HECS debt.

How much money would you have to be paid to eat a dog poo?
$250,000

How much would you have to be paid to get your gear off for a magazine?
Ten Million - and it'd be for a comedy magazine, not a porno one

Have you ever been on TV? When, what and why?
1988 - Wheel of Fortune. Hair teased up big enough to rival Dolly Parton and enough makeup to frighten off a drag queen. No, there's no surviving video of it. Won the episode with some 'gifts' including a spa bath, mag wheels, make up, books, cast-iron cook ware and the camera. Only the cast iron stew pot remains.
1997 - Sale of the Century. Too slow for the buzzer most of the show and looked like a deer caught in the headlights. They had to stop filming when a gal tripped over on the carpet and I cacked myself laughing. All I won where those 'Who am I?' questions and got some shocker prizes.

Have you ever won a competition?
Sadly no, but it's not for lack of trying. I've won 'consolation' prizes of a Cadbury watch (I wanted the $150K); a napkin holder - (yet I ungratefully wanted the first class round-the-world trip), and a $1000 shopping voucher but that was for my friend!

What three 'stars' do you think DON'T deserve their fame?
1) Adam Sandler. I just do not umderstand what it is that people want to see his movies - he's about as witty as a fart in a funeral home.
2) Anyone from any series of Big Brother. They're the sort of attention seeking show offs I'd cross the street to avoid, so I sure as hell don't want to watch them having a shower.
3) Mariah Carey - those endless three-octave warbles, choosing terrible songs to showcase her talent and always dressing three sizes too small. I wish to god she'd put her boobs in hiding for once.

Which three people should be famous but aren't?
1) Whoever causes John Howard to lose the next election.
2) The inventor of a delicious, fat-free chocolate that increases intelligence and includes fibre, iron and vitamins
3) That poor eastern European athlete who smashed his face into the pommel horse during the 1980s - his humiliation gets shown on 'funny video' shows in perpetuity

Which three people (living) would you invite over for dinner?
1) John Cusack - but mostly for what I'd do to him after dinner;
2) Clive James - for humour and writing advice; and
3) Jeff Probst - for Survivor stories

What magazines do you subscribe to or buy?
Delicious - Simple, honest, foodie porn. I like to look, but my husband actually cooks.
Marieclaire - I'm not yet old enough for the Aussie Womens Weekly
InStyle - Because I'm not.

What was the last movie you saw at the cinema?
'In her Shoes' with my mate Jill. We went because there was nothing else on at the time and date that we were free to go and see a movie, and our expectations were 'Miss Congeniality' low - hence we were pleasantly surprised.

What do you want for Christmas -
1) Under $20: Any good book in paperback or Lindt chocolates
2) Under $100: A pair of jeans that don't make my stomach resemble a volksie bonnet at the front or reveal any arse crack at the back
3) Pricetag not a worry: The VW passat mentioned earlier would be good enough, thanks.

Who - in your real life - do you admire and why?
My husband - for sticking with me; for his patience, kindness, humour, insight and friendship
My parents - for giving me a childhood filled with love, fun and encouragement
My friends - because they all have qualities that I envy and I'm grateful that they like me
My Grandpa - he may be frail at 92 and now in an aged care facility, but he's more alert, intelligent and open-minded than most people a quarter of his age

What do you admire about yourself?
I'm a work still in progress and have a fair way to go, but my skin isn't too bad.

What about YOU?