Mr P

Now that we've established what the Mysterious Monolith that sits on top of the Flemington Housing Commission is, I've found a somewhat smaller but still puzzling riddle to ruminate on.

Mr P apparently lived for ten years from 1996-2006 which isn't a long innings by anyone's standards, let alone a cat or a dog's.

Maybe that's why he is, at present, sitting proudly on someone's front verandah, doing a sterling job of assisting the growth of some geraniums.

I don't think Mr P's fans would go to such lengths to preserve his memory if he wasn't a loved family member, but I've yet to find out exactly what kind of animal he was and who arranged this particular memorial.

Or am I barking up the wrong tree, scratching at the incorrectly carpet-covered post? Is Mr P instead a now-defunct portaloo company? A death metal band suffering an untimely demise or a gardening concern that was forced to resize rather drastically?

Stay tuned.

That's right: never let it be said that I don't investigate the burning issues.

Like this one, below.

Do these 'I fancy you, yes you, the cute guy in the 'My Finger You Pull' Yoda t-shirt on the 57 tram' advertisements placed in the MX newspaper actually work?

For example, did the Tall Dark Hottie get eaten for breakfast by the brunette in the white singlet and gold scarf? I'm guessing that he did, particularly if the hungry chick was only wearing a singlet without any pants on.

Did the 19 year old gentleman find his smiling (yes, he specified smiling), middle-eastern girl? And if so, what happens during her PMS week or if she wants to stop grinning like an idiot, put her head down and read the other sections of the paper?

Did 'Given Up' tell 'Cutie' of Mill Park what train line he catches? More importantly, what characteristics are used to define one's self as a Cutie, especially if you're from Mill Park?

And Love Chunks wonders why I find it difficult to get to sleep at nights.......

Culture Schmulture

The Age online reported today that a ticket vending machine at Rushall train station (Melbourne's Fitzroy north area ) was bombed at around 3:30am this morning. It was apparently detonated remotely, could be heard "up to 200 metres away" (like, wow, that's so big and like, such an inconvenient and totally dangerous time to do such a random and destructive, like, thing) and was on fire when the police arrived.

Connex rail system, in their wisdom, decided not to let any trains stop at that station, thus further enraging commuters who staggered up to work only to find no ticket machine (yay) but also no trains (boo) and only the un-fun option of a shuttle bus system (erk).

The article went on to state that "The attack is the latest in a string of problems for rail operator Connex, which has been under commuter fire for heat and maintenance-related train delays and cancellations. And there was no relief for commuters this morning, with at least eight services cancelled by 8am." I wonder how the explosion can explain the other seven cancellations?

Perhaps the bombers were feeling slightly cross after reading (I'm assuming that they can) in The Age a few days earlier where the Connex boss, British-born and educated Jim Betts, blamed the culture of Melbourne itself as the reason for its craptastic transport service.

He was quoted as saying: "A metronomic public transport system of the kind that operates in Hong Kong or Singapore — where they have a ruthless approach to the management of train stopping times at stations — that kind of culture which lends itself to great transport efficiency, is maybe not going to be appropriate in many cultures, including the Melburnian culture."

He went on to blather on about the uber-organised Swiss folk: "The people who plan public transport services in Zurich are planning in an environment where they have 500 years of democracy, where they have referenda on all key issues, and where there is a Swiss cultural setting which is about the scrupulous micromanagement of every last detail."

Aw bless his sweet little cotton socks. Isn't it nice, after being at the helm of Crap-Connex for ten years, gifted with the official task of bringing a 'ruthless efficiency' like those found in 'Hong Kong, Singapore and Zurich,' that he's concluded that it is instead the fault of the Melburnians themselves. Mighty big salary money well spent for sure, people!

So, this city's gentle meat-pie and Big-M lovin' folk are ultimately putting up with a transport system that has "fewer services (is) slow compared with private cars and ....spends far less per capita on running it. " Because their culture deserves it.

Methinks 'ol Jimbo Bettsy-boy better hope that the bombers don't find out his home address, or the licence plate of his car.......