It goes all the way up to eleven

Today I was tagged by River, who writes over at Drifting through life, to follow this meme and pass it on. The idea is for me to answer the eleven questions set by River then make up eleven new questions and tag eleven new people to answer them. They in turn would do the same and so it would go on.

'Practical or fanciful with your answers? That's up to you,' she says. I think it goes without saying that mine will mostly be fanciful with practicality used like Worcestershire sauce - just an occasional splash.

1. You're taking a three month holiday, no expenses spared. Do you cruise the oceans or fly the skies?

Fly the skies. On a first class, around-the-world ticket. Stop overs will include - but not be limited to - New York, Tokyo, London, Paris, Copenhagen, Rio de Janeiro, Shanghai and a rest in Port Douglas afterwards.

2. If you could ask God for one world-wide miracle, what would it be?

At first I thought, 'Oh, that's easy. World peace. Done deal,' but then considered that if people are still starving or dying of diseases that we have the money and ability to cure (yes, I'm looking at you, Malaria), then, because we're allowed only the one miracle, I'll choose the eradication of poverty so that everyone can afford the essentials. And luxuries too.

3. Would you choose sky diving or deep sea diving? (why?)

Sky diving. Did it in 1989 on my own (no tandem girly stuff for me) and would happily do it again. Exhilarating and unforgettable. Being stuck in the water breathing through a tube and risking contracting something as terrifying as the bends or seeing my chubby, sweet-fleshed body receive an unwanted visit from a shark with a case of the munchies does not appeal. Watching a David Attenborough-narrated DVD on the wonders of the reef from the safety of my sofa will suffice.

4. Would you choose having your wishes granted or having the power to grant wishes?

Having my wishes granted. Selfish perhaps, but if you could only grant the wishes of others, what if they were tragically awful ones and made life worse for your loved ones and/or humanity and the planet in general? Besides, as Carrie Fisher said in 'When Harry Met Sally', everyone thinks that they have great taste and a sense of humour but that can't possibly be true. I'd rather risk my own than, say, Andrew Bolt, any one from the cast of British semi-reality TV or litter bugs.

5. If you could pick a song to be a world anthem, what would it be?

Oooooh that's a tough one because, sitting here on a Sunday morning needing a second coffee, I've come up with three. Bear in mind, they're likely to change if you'd asked me later on this afternoon, or tomorrow, or by next weekend, but here they are:

a) I can see clearly now by Johnny Nash - 'I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) sun-shiny day.'

b) Turn turn turn by the Byrds - 'To everything, there is a season, and a time to every purpose, under Heaven'

c) And a slightly funny but cute one - 'Song for a future generation by the B52s - 'Hey, my name is Keith and I'm aScorpio from Athens, G-A and I like to find the essence from within
Wanna be the captain of the Enterprise
Wanna be the king of the Zulus
Let's meet and have a baby now!'

6. Do you dream in black and white or colour?

Colour when it's a weird-but-not-scary dream or one that's a fantasy or slightly annoying. True nightmares - that usually see me wake up with a migraine - are in black and white; as are those that occur when I'm already ill or with a fever. Black clouds appear on the ceiling above me, getting darker and darker and closer and closer....

Love Chunks, Sapphire and Milly are always in full technicolour.

7. Three-course meals or one-pot dinners?

If cooked by someone else - two courses. I find that an entree and main means that dessert can't be contemplated, so if we're out I'll read the dessert part of the menu first to see if it's worth skipping the starters for.

Home - any course cooked by Love Chunks or Sapphire.

Home - anything cooked by me has to, as part of the Kath Lockett Cooking Code - be a One Pot. Slopped into large bowls and inhaled without conscious appreciation in front of the telly.



8. Do you menu plan, shop for two weeks worth of ingredients, then serve up toast and jam for dinner?

Unlike the Swiss, I do a big shop every week. Skipping off the tram clutching one paper bag with a baguette, 12 pack of bog rolls and jamon every damn day isn't my style as Migros supermarket is a place where the less time is spent the better.

9. Do you dye your hair a totally different colour from what nature intended?

Nah. Blondies like me can only lighten up or have streaks put in. Anything darker or weirder would just highlight the fact that I have no eyebrows and possess lashes even harder to see than those of my dog.



10. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose?

Port Douglas when finances are firmed up. Love Chunks can get the boat he's dreamed of and I'll write a novel in a louvred-study overlooking the sea. Otherwise, a well-funded stint in London or New York wouldn't be too hard to bear.
11. Do you change your home decor to suit the seasons or do you just leave things as they are year in year out?

Leave 'em where they are. They may occasionally - very, very occasionally - get moved slightly in order to get the vacuum nozzle underneath, but only when the dust bunnies have bred so much that they're spilling out beyond the boundaries that usually hide them. I may sometimes go nuts and add a new cushion cover or a throw rug but, for me, rooms are for comfort, not magazine layouts.

Now I have to think up eleven new questions and ask other bloggers to answer them.

Firstly, the bloggers:

The Plastic Mancunian

Diane b - Adventure before Dementia

Jackie K - Keep working through it

Princess Pandora Behr

The Swiss Family Gustafson

Lad Litter

CatJB at Just this side of chaos

Elephant's Child

Blogger on the cast-iron balcony

Deep Kick Girl

Hannah - Wayfaring Chocolate

Now, the questions:

1. When and why did you start blogging?

2. What is your middle name and why did your parents select it?

3. Toilet paper folder or scruncher? Provide your reasons

4. What do you do at home when everyone else is out?

5. You've been given five hundred bucks (two hundred and fifty quid, say) to spend on nothing useful and just your self. What do you do with the cash?

6. It's finally come true. One of your 'five celebrities you're allowed to sleep with' has walked into your kitchen and is up for it. Who is it?

7. Name one famous person (so that all our readers know who it is) that you think 'has their shit together'. Explain why.

8. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

9. Who would you like to smack in the face, publicly disprove all of their stupid opinions and freeze their bank accounts?

10. Low slung jeans on boys - how do we eradicate this disease?

11. Tell us about an invention for the home that we desperately need.