Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Edition Nineteen - Word Verification Explanations

It's been ages since I've compiled a list of word verifications or 'captchas' that I've had to type in to comment on other blogs and a few have popped up that are just asking - nay, begging - for an official definition. Besides, my brain needs to think about something other than translating the German instructions on Sapphire's nausea reduction tablets, coordinating Nafeesa's school and hospital transit routes and explaining to Milly that I'm not responsible for the driving rain that is preventing us from having a long walk.

Are you ready?














Redinneo - the meal produced from desperation - usually late on a Thursday evening - that combines two incompatible leftovers such as spaghetti bolognese and pumpkin curry. These optimistic blendings rarely convince the family that it's nouveau cuisine or even a successful pairing; more like a bad interpretation of shepherd's pie.
"I'm hungry, Mum. What's for tea?"
"Uuuhmmm...... how about some redinneo?"
(silence). "I'm not really that hungry, actually...."

Prent - The person who chooses the '8 items or less' checkout when they clearly have more than fifteen. They are invariably inconsiderate, selfish and extremely ugly. In short, a Prent.

Flads - Overly-confident marketing campaigns that utterly fail to catch on. Examples of flads in recent times include any non-animated movie starring Angelina Jolie, citrus-coloured clothing, The Prince of Persia action figures, carbonated milkshakes and Gordon Ramsey's restaurants in Australia.


















Zoole - a pet in a backyard swimming pool. Large dogs such as labradors are often zooles in summer time thanks to being hurled in by adults sloshing with too much sparkling shiraz or kids wanting to see their much-loved Rufus or Honey frenziedly paddling. Humans who are also having a dip risk having the flesh scraped off their ribs by canine claws if a zoole desperately keen to reach the steps and get the hell out of the water happens to be thrashing alongside.

Gathy - the annoying draught that only you notice. Most common in old cars, doctors' waiting rooms, so-called bus 'shelters' and the homes of those annoying people who never put their heating on even when your snot has frozen. "Cold? It's not cold - let's open another window; we need some fresh air in here!"



















Fornicka - sexual intercourse performed on kitchen counter tops. Presumably for ease of cleaning afterwards.

Poveva - the first world struggle of the well-paid living in a country with a stratospheric cost of living. Examples include Geneva, Oslo, Zurich, New York, Tokyo and London. Budget blow-outs mean that households used to eating meat suddenly find tinned lentils, quark and macaroni make filling-but-failing replacements and rent day sees the bank account looking more scoured than Lindsay Lohan's nostrils after a court hearing.

19 comments:

FruitCake said...

Zoole. Zoole. I like it!

Andrew said...

Fornicka is a good combo of formica and fornication. Thank goodness for Ajax Spray and Wipe and extra strong paper towel.

A Zoole response I experienced at a young age. Hey, I was a kid. I didn't know the dog would panic in the water and see me as his saviour.

Anonymous said...

Formicating - oh fabulous.
X X Annie O'D

Kath Lockett said...

Thanks FruitCake - I've been scraped by a Zoole more than once during my childhood...

Exactly, dear Andrew. Quite considerate when you think about it :)

Annie, you got there in the end!

Kath Lockett said...

Oh I've just realised that I'm the person responsible for producing Gathy in our house. We're on the eighth floor with central heating that's not always possible to turn off, so I'm often reduced to opening a few windows. Sapphire will moan, "Aren't you COLD, Mum?"

The Elephant's Child said...

I smirked loudly (if that makes sense) at fornicka. And I am the gathy creator in this house too - much to the distress of the smaller portion and the cats.
Thank you.

Cat J B said...

Plenty of Gathys in our house, I know the MIL always rugs up when she comes for a visit. Poor thing lol...

Hannah said...

I fricking hate prents. With a fiery, burning passion. The bastards.

Kath Lockett said...

I like that, EC, 'smirking loudly' - you should patent that!

CatJB, there's a question for you: are the gathys created just *because* the MIL is about to visit, or are you a fresh air gal but also get on well with her?

Yes, Hannah. YESSSSSS. I 'accidentally' nudged one in the back of his heel with my (rather large, for a girl) boot the other day. He had cases of wine on the conveyer belt (more than eight!) followed by what looked like a weekly shop for the Michelle Duggar clan. I was standing there with some quark (yes, it's now a staple), douche gel (we laugh but seem to go through a lot of it) and dog food. Grrrrr!

Anji said...

Fornicka made me almost fall off my seat. My husband is definately inclined towards gathyness.

Wish I had the time to think some up...

cande: honest commenter

Kath Lockett said...

Anji, I love 'cande' !

The Plastic Mancunian said...

Bonjour Kath,

I love "prent" - I might actually start using that one.

:0)

Cheers

PM

ropcorn said...

I love these photos!!! And your word explanations too. But really, does anyone actually use those words in their everyday life? Or has anyone ever? Hm... Either way, they sure are weird!

Jayne said...

Oh, I LOVE them!
Fornicka is perfect for those who insist on 'christening' every surface of their new home *see Andrew's comment re Spray and Wipe!*

WV- Autrou...au trou French; With the hole (See? Even Blogger knows about my ex-sister-in-law!)

Kath Lockett said...

Do it, PlasMan, do it. I struck a Prent yesterday and did indeed find myself muttering the word under my breath. It actually made me feel slightly better.

That's the point, dear Ropcorn. I always find the word verifications rather amusing and love trying to invent a meaning for them. Maybe one day I'll put out a dictionary....

Jayne, your Autrou is a lovely tie-in!

Anji said...

I had to reboot my computer; I'd copied and pasted Fornicka out of laziness and couldn't do any work because all I got afterwards when I tried to paste was Fornicka

Kath Lockett said...

Wishful thinking, Anji?? :P

Red Nomad OZ said...

Haha! Fornicka is my personal favourite ...

And did you know whenever I leave a comment on your blog, I get an email saying undeliverable because kathl@tpg or some such url is permanently disconnected??

Of course posts like this make it all worthwhile - but is the problem with your blog set up, or my commenting prowess??!!

PS 'trabu' is today's code ...

River said...

I suffered a bout of Poveva during my last year in my previous home. Things are looking better now, budget upswing!
Redinneo...been there, done that, tossed it out too.