Monday, February 21, 2011

Edition Seventeen: Word Verification Explanations

It's been a while since I've jotted down some of the word verification captcha thingies that need to be typed in before being permitted to add a comment or, in increasing cases, 'like' something. Here are some that popped up last week and what I think they could mean:

Flumpi - The sound of a tired arse hitting a leather lounge after a long day at work. We have a five seater modular lounge and one segment (okay, mine) is subjected to flumpi every night after the kitchen is clean and the dishwasher is on and there's a distinctly recognisable butt-cheek imprint on the leather deep enough to pour a bag of chips in.

Yalpt - the shock, agony and anguish experienced by a person undergoing their first bikini or back-crack-and-sack wax, invariably ending in screaming and swearing to deities lurking above the strip lighting in the beauty salon's back room.

Boptrig - Listening to music instead of doing maths homework. Most of 1982 through to 1984 involved huge slabs of Boptrig after dinner on a weeknight which is probably why I barely passed year eleven mathematics and think an obtuse angle is a triangle with an attitude problem.

Hosup - A group of slappers and tarts greeting each other before a big night out.

Angthro - Bad sportsmanship displayed when the loser of a point deliberately mis-hits the ball back to the server so that they have to climb the fence and retrieve it from behind the wheelie bins or interrupt the bowls game on the green next door. Designed for the winner to walk further, stop their winning flow and humiliate them just a little, especially if their teeny tiny tennis skirt blows up as they bend down.

Mognm - The first pitiful attempts at meaningful speech upon waking after imbibing a magnum of cheap champagne the night before. Sunday morning found me suffering a tiny bout of mognm after having more than my share of sparkling shiraz (and brie and water crackers) at a free outdoor classical concert. Lingering tannins, dried spittle and born again cheese tongue do not an attractive person make on God's designated day of rest.


The Elephant's Child said...

Love it. Smiled till my face hurt. Thanks loads.
WV glishur - which sounds as if cheap bubblie is involved

Kath Lockett said...

Glishur - cheap bubbly being enjoyed on the way down.

Rushlig - the not-as-enjoyable sensation of cheap bubbly on the way back up an hour or two later.

River said...

Damn you Kath; now I have to google obtuse angles to remind myself what the heck they are!
Flumpi-I love it!

WV- shregali

Kath Lockett said...

I'll be undertaking some flumpi very, very soon River!

Shregali: remnants of the doona and bedsheets after a night of deep-sleep dutch ovens following a curry supper.

Andrew said...

I reckon god knew all about mognm, and that is why he made Sunday a day of rest.

Hannah said...

I expect to see your definitions of flumpi and angthro in the next Oxford Dictionary edition :)

Vanessa said...

Flumpi, am I allowed to admit that is one noise/action that does my head in? Crazy little oddity about me but although our sofa is upholstered with feather cushions, I can't stand it when the kids drop from a great height to sit in it.
Phew, feel better already.

drb said...

I am with you Vanessa. I'll never buy a leather (except Suede) sofa or chair because flumpi makes my teeth go soft.
Never had a Boptrig in myself, some how don't like listening to music except when doing dishes.

Kath Lockett said...

Andrew, I think you're right.

Hannah, I'd *love* to release a word verification dictionary some day. A valuable community service....

Vanessa, it's the squeak and creak of our lounge that gives me the irrits. Then, if you move forward suddenly it makes a farting noise and I do enough of them on my own without being blamed for any extra ones.

drb but you probably liked maths and didn't need to boptrig in order to survive your homework sessions....?

Maxine Beneba Clarke said...

Love these. I have a 'parenting dictionary' of made-up words. Like 'Grandtrum' (the tantrum you throw when you come home from Grandma's house where you have been allowed to run riot and are suddenly expected to behave!)

Louise said...

I just did a flumpi myself! And I too spent much of the 70s committing boptrig.