Oooooh, Anonymous's Knickers are in a Knot!

Oh dearie me. The ever-so-brave 'Anonymous' (the weak-spined commenter that all bloggers love) has taken issue with my review of 'Hey Hey it's Esther Blueburger.'

He or she said: Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Oh Dear, there’s a Poo in the room but no-one want...":

People will naturally have different views on the merits of this or any other film, but having seen this film I can't understand why it's offended you so much. I think David and Margaret are spot on about this film - it's very clever, it's well acted and looks beautiful.

One thing David and Margaret failed to mention that the music for this film is simply outstanding. Normally a review of a film doesn't bother me, but I must say that I found your rant on this film highly offensive. Of course you should be free to express your opinion, but to question the integrity of anyone who happens to have a different opinion than you, as you do in your rant, is totally outrageous and disgusting. David and Margaret have the right to express their opinion without it being slanderously suggested that they are only reviewing a film positively because they are on the take ("how much did they say they'd pay us for saying this nice stuff?").

You also seem to suggest that it's only David and Margaret that have reviewed the film positively (or could possibly review the film positively). This is complete rubbish. While the film hasn't been released yet and therefore hasn't been widely reviewed, if you'd bothered to do your research, you would have found a number of positive reviews from overseas (try the highly reputable Screen Daily for example). Further, the initial audience reviews (with the glaring exception of yours) from the At the Movies website are very positive.

I could pick heaps of issues with your writing on this film. How can Toni Collette be terrific at one point, yet the acting be unconvincing at another? Why should "the other guy in black" in the cinema "in the piss stained end of Hindley Street" be the authority on whether this film has reached its target audience? Why on earth would he know what kids think? And your admission that you commented loudly throughout the screening is an indictment on you, rather than the film. How can you possibly review a film with any objectivity when you're not watching it?

In short, you've provided an unbalanced rant with not a shred of credibility, rather than anything that could even loosely be termed a review. I really think you don’t know enough about film to comment in any meaningful way, so instead can only resort to a vitriolic tirade of abuse. So excuse me if I continue to place more weight on the views of David Stratton over someone who lists Sixteen Candles in their list of all time favourite films.PS I am not associated with the film and have not been paid to make these comments.

Posted by Anonymous to Blurb from the Burbs at 9:15 PM

Hmmm. I couldn't let that slide. So, I wrote:

Thank you for your comment - nay *rant* Anonymous. What a shame you won't reveal your real name.I stand proudly by my opinion that 'Hey Hey it's Esther Blueberger' was an embarrassing mound of crap that only serves to send the already-struggling Australian film industry back into the dark - no dank - ages.

Oh and 'Anonymous'? I *did* do my homework - the only reviews I've found to date were from 'aintitcool' news re the Berlin film festival, Dave and Margaret, and, just yesterday, Empire (who gave it 2 stars by the way). The point I was *trying* to make was that no South Australian publication has seen fit to publish a review. The Traumatiser has merely put in a few puff pieces about Toni Collette's tiny pole dancing scene or Daniela Catanzariti's nerves before opening night. I'm pretty sure that the positive reviews on the 'At the Movies' site are those from participants in the celluloid piece of shite itself.

Hmmm, perhaps I've offended you because you or your darlings went to the private school featured in much of the background scenes?
If you find my views offensive that's tough luck. Go surf somewhere else. And if you think that listing 'Sixteen Candles' as one of my favourite TEEN movies is a negative, then I'd gladly act out the 'Farmer Ted' role than anything in Esther any day: at least it's funny, endearing and well acted.

If the best you can say is that the music is good, then that's pretty tragic. The 'guy in black in the cinema at the piss-stained end of Hindley street' - along with the other two people present - were also REVIEWERS. Four out of four of us hated it. YOU do the math, Anonymous.

Go find yourself a life, Anonymous, for if you find this review "outrageous and disgusting" you clearly don't get out enough.After seeing 'Gallipoli' on DVD during the weekend and seeing what the SA Film Corporation has supported in the past, PooBurger made me want to weep. And it makes me angry that such crap is being shoved down our throats as 'representing the travails of teenagers', 'quirky', 'it made me laugh and cry'..... This movie is about as clever as a failed Big Brother contestant.

There. I feel better now.