Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Wednesday Word Verification Edition Five

Yes readers, I let the side down last week with a persnickety, lingering migraine and Chief School Holiday Entertainment Organiser duties, but we're back on track this week. Here's a few word verifications that have been collected during recent blog comments:

Extomon - a Jamaican pest controller














Fogenta - polenta (cornmeal, Italian-style) that has been neglected by the chef and not stirred, resulting in a mess so impenetrably thick that the saucepan must be disposed of. No amount of hard scrubbing or chemical solvents has yet been developed that is able to remove burnt polenta. (See also 'Weetbix' for another alternative to mortar used by bricklayers).

Materot - the act of spring-cleaning one's personal address book. Most commonly occurring at Christmas time, the address book owner is faced with the dreaded ordeal of writing greeting cards and annual letters to friends and family they've neglected for the rest of the year. They ask themselves the hard question: "If I was in their town/city/suburb/hemisphere, would I bother popping in to visit?" If the answer is 'no', then the person under question is subject to 'Materot' - address book removal.














Skesses - articles of clothing that look much more ethereal and attractive when hand-drawn by the designer than they do on actual runway models or, in fact, real life people. See anything done by Karl Lagerfeld, Christian LaCroix, Butterick sewing pattions or fashion houses that only make clothes up to size 10.

Mifil - Superannuated MILFs who are yet to realise that they are no longer a) able to wear mini skirts, spaghetti strap tank tops or long bottle blonde hair; b) shriek too loudly when a glass of chardonnay is in their french-manicured, square-fingernailed, gnarly old hands; and c) whom nobody wants to dirty dance with at work parties any more.


Canabib - A piece of material (usually terry-towelling or cloth) worn by an unusually-organised pot-smoker suffering 'the munchies' in order to prevent melted Tim Tam chocolate, cheezel dust and crushed butter menthols from sticking to their clothes.




















Gludelar - the act of pretending to be prudish when in fact you're secretly turned on by the overtly sexual nature of advertising in front of you. See the current Brut 33, Palmolive Naturals and new Scissor Sisters album commercials. Not forgetting the Mr Perfect Cheese bloke.

14 comments:

Elisabeth said...

That's some list, Kath. I can't take my eyes off that last image, those tightly held buttocks. I've not seen the add, but this shot makes me curious.

Baino said...

I'm sorry . . .what did you say. I'm too distracted with the buns so tight you can bounce 'em off the walls.

Pandora Behr said...

The delicte art of Materot... hmm, exactly why I keep old address books from years ago...

And that last image. Where did you find that?

Great blog.

JahTeh said...

I love that cheese ad and it took me a while to get the joke.
"So simple. So Perfect" and he is.

Kath Lockett said...

Elisabeth you probably don't fit their average fan profile - gay twenty-something nightclubbers.

Baino - An Ab Fab quote there - brilliant!

Pandora, I've been practising Materot for years now. In fact these days I don't send Christmas cards at all now.

JahTeh, he most certainly is and the closest I've found to him in real life is the French owner and chocolatier at Monsieur Truffe in Collingwood - Thibault Fregoni. *sigh*

Benjamin Solah said...

I've seen many a gludelar and always found them pretty damn funny.

The Blakkat said...

I just did a bit of catching up on some of your older posts, Kath. I had no idea about the Bulldog and the resulting trauma you've been through. Having gone through a year of hell in the workplace myself and still licking my wounds from that hell, you have my deepest sympathy.

As for the question of money, I'm on par with the church mice at the moment, so sympathies there, too.

Life may not be fair, but as far as blessings go, you obviously have a great family and a lot of love around you, and cliched as that may be, money can't buy you that and some of the most miserable people are also some of
the wealthiest.

Word verification is 'ingissel'...

River said...

Love your word verification posts.
There's no Materot going on here, I don't even own an address book.
Those buns have reminded me to resume my butt clenches....

The Plastic Mancunian said...

G'Day Kath,

Really great definitions as usual.

I particularly like "Extomon".

:0)

Cheers

PM

Kath Lockett said...

Benjamin, you're right: but we all enjoy the process of perving, don't we? :)

Thank you, Blakkat. I hope that this year your wounds - and wallet - heal. As for your word, let's see....
Ingissel: The underwater dancing that ungainly folk do when frolicking in chlorinated pools; leaping, stretching and twirling - all actions that are beyond their capabilities on land.

River, I don't even think the the guy in the last photo has a butt - it's all just legs joined to the back isn't it? No amount of clenching's gonna achieve that....

Thanks Plastic Mancunian - that's my favourite one too.

Anji said...

Brilliant, I often wondered what they all meant.Materot speaks to me. I wonder what they call it when the whole address book goes...

Today I've got hylimmo - what happens to limosines when they get sold on to people who can't really afford to run them.

Jackie said...

Goodness, shows how illiterate I am, didn't know one of them!

吳婷婷 said...

人不可以求其備,必捨其所短,取其所長............................................................

LJP said...

Extomon - Gold!!

My word verification is "spitc" - The act of spitting where it doesn't completely leave your mouth so then you have to surreptitiously wipe your chin while still looking unfazed...